Hi,

I am a 30 year old female who has never been physical with anyone or even kissed anyone before. A lot of my family and wider society think I am strange and people always assume that there is some trauma I have experienced to explain my weirdness. Truly, I have not experienced any trauma and had a great upbringing, I also am not suffering from chemical/hormonal imbalance issue as I see the docs for annual blood checks. I just don't experience any sexual attraction to people I meet and have met all my life. I am not repulsed by it, just not interested. I also have never been in any romantic or emotional relationship outside of platonic acquaintance/friendship and family relationships.

When I think about how I feel around men and women that I interact with, I can point that there is a base level "ohh he's cute " reaction to some men that I've noticed is a different feeling that an aesthetic attraction, with women if I notice them it usually because "ohh, I like that dress she is wearing", I feel no attraction to women I interact with whatsoever. However, for about 15 years (on and off) I have watched lesbian porn/erotic content and been turned on by picturing in my head whist awake in my bed and masturbated to thoughts of making out with a woman. None of these women in my thoughts have been women I actually know in my life (like women I interact with). I have also spent the past 15 years thinking of guys on and off but without the aid of porn as I find straight porn aggressive. But whilst I have reached orgasm (apologies if it's tmi) of thinking of women, I haven't when thinking of men. I put this down to knowing the female anatomy more than men (it's hard for me to picture what intimacy would feel like with a guy-positioning etc).

At no point in the past 15 years have I ever felt a desire to actually go out and make those thoughts come true. Whist I am happy with who I am in that I do not desire a relationship with anyone, I wanted to ask out of curiosity to people who may know more about sexuality than I do, do you think what I wrote above and the time length of those thoughts and porn of women and orgasm to thoughts of women but not men make me bi/lesbian (not that there would be problem with that at all, just trying to understand labels)? It would be nice to learn more about labels so I can understand myself better, if that makes sense?