I had an abortion about 4 years ago. It was with my ex partner and since then we have split and I have found new love with a different man. Every now and again I think about the abortion and what would of happened if it never happened. But recently it's becoming an everyday occurrence, everyone I know is getting pregnant and in a way I'm so jealous. Me and my partner have spoke about kids but financially we are unstable. We both have jobs, house, car etc but he wants to put money behind us before we have kids. Now I know this is the most sensible thing to do but I still feel the pain I felt 4 years ago and I just want to fill that space as quickly as possible. It's a straight head against the heart moment. At the minute it's really getting to me. Like I haven't spoke to my partner about it but I feel really guilty atm and just burst into tears whenever I think about my child that I so willingly got rid of. I feel awful how can it affect me so far on. I was 16 when I fell pregnant so I knew I was doing the right thing. But now I feel awful. It hurts me so much, I can't talk to my ex partner about it for the obvious reasons but I feel I have nobody to talk to :( I would do anything to go change what I did but I can't. I just feel so lost inside.