The study compared a group of 40 women who suffered a miscarriage with 80 women who chose to have an abortion, questioning them 10 days, six months, two years and five years after the event. Women who had spontaneous miscarriages suffered problems up to six months after losing their babies. On the other hand, women who had an abortion experienced more mental distress long afterwards.
The research confirmed that the emotional consequences of having an abortion could be massive and it underlines the importance of counseling to deal with the negative affects of abortion. Women should be given information about the psychological effects of losing a baby - either through miscarriage or abortion.
I've had 2 abortions in the past, both a very long time ago, and reading your post reminded me of the pain I felt and has stopped me from making that mistake again. This was not planned, but who am I to interfere with God's work. I'm scared to death as I don't have any children and could probably be certified as crazy to have this child in the situation that I'm in right now, but I do believe that I am on this site for a reason and I do believe that God has a plan for me and my baby and so I walk in faith that we will be ok.
Thank you again.
Saying that, I am 25, I already have a daughter and... I have recently been through an abortion.
I wake up in the middle of the night and know something is missing. The physical pain of what I went through pales in comparison to the agony that I am in now. I clutch my stomach and beg God to put it back.
When I told my partner we were pregnant, he - without hesitation - said "you have to have an abortion". All of the sudden, he wasn't the man I thought he was. My heart sank. I tried to explain to him, over a number of weeks, that we could, that we should. But he kept coming back to me about a lack of money...
I went alone. I sat there on the table alone. Waiting. Waiting for someone to save me. Waiting for someone to tell me it was okay to walk out of there.
I was unsedated when the doctor preformed the abortion. I cried through the whole thing. And he left me, crying, on the table - alone again.
I called my boyfriend when I got home to let him know how things went - my phone call woke him up, he had slept through it. I asked if he would come see me - to which he said "tomorrow, baby". Tomorrow came and went - he attended a work party instead.
It's been 3 weeks. I am so angry I could punch him. And while he can forget and continue on, I am left with the memory of signing my unborn son or daughters life away. The feelings will fade in time, I am sure. But I will always regret this decision - and I have no one to blame but myself.
I don't know what to do. :-(
i was with someone i really really liked, and was falling in love with, and i practically made the pregnancy happen on purpose. i didnt even have to ask him what he thought we should do, i knew he was too scared to have a kid so soon (i was 18, he was 17) and i definitely wasnt ready either. i didnt consider adoption because i knew that if i had the baby, i would want to keep it. and i feel very selfish about this, but one main reason i had an abortion is because i have a nice body and i didnt want to give it up so early in adulthood.
i cant say i regret the abortion, because it was meant to happen and i couldnt have been a good mother at this point in my life, i am not financially or emotionally prepared. but i do regret not being careful enough with my body. i regret that i didnt prevent the pregnancy from happening. my uterus had been empty my whole life, but now it feels emptier than ever before. like something was ripped from it, because something HAS. i cried and apologized to my baby before i had it killed, reminding "her" that she was all i ever wanted.
the worst part of my abortion is that all my life, i REALLY REALLY REALLY looked forward to having babies. any time i saw a baby, id get ecstatic and say how cute it was. now, my passion for future motherhood has been dampered so badly. i no longer look forward to having a baby like i did my whole life. i am scared that karma will result in my babies either dying in my womb or they will be deformed in some way. i am scared to have babies, now that i killed my first chance. i am definitely paying for what ive done, im paying with my life. my excitement to be a mommy is gone. now i dont know if i even want kids, and that HURTS SO f*****g BAD because it was the ONE thing i looked forward to my whole life.
i may have saved myself from temporary setback from having a child at 18, but i am forever scarred, and i think of my dead child EVERY SINGLE DAY, hoping and praying that she forgives me!!!
there is no ending to this story, it lives on in my heart everyday, and i just hope that if i do become a mother one day, that it will be what i dreamed of as a young girl. i hope i am not doomed.
I just finished reading your post, my heart goes out to you. You sound pretty devastated from this abortion experience. You mentioned in your post that you did not regret the abortion, but from what I have read, it seems that you might. Understand this is not coming from judgementalness of my part though.
In my opinion, I dont believe in karma, because if that were true, then we would all have to go to Childrens hospital and tell all those children with cancer, that their cancer comes from something they did in the past. I just dont believe that.
The good news, is that there is healing and restoration. It is a tough path, but nonetheless a path that will strengthen you, and help you to understand the truth about abortion, and the pain and suffering it causes alot more women that we know of. It has been through my experience of lay-counseling women and seeing the desperate hopelessness that seemingly engulfs them and how they see each day as sadness.
I can still "see" the pain in the post that you have. Do you feel like you are "doomed"? That is simply not the truth. I dont agree with abortion either. Like I said, though there is healing and restoration, but it comes when you are ready for it. The world will tell you lots of "stories" but the truth comes if you search for it.
Blessings to you,
I remember talking to my baby, telling her that I am sorry for doing this, but I just didn't know what else to do. I wish I would've had someone to talk to back then. If even just one person had tried to convince me not to have an abortion I probably wouldn't have gone through with it.
My boyfriend went with me to the appointment that day, and waited in the waiting room for me also. He was truly very supportive.
After the abortion I did feel relief for awhile and I continued back to my old life again, but a couple of years later, I started to regret my decision. I started to realize the sin that I did in murdering my own child, and that is when the guilt set in. I had guilt for many years after that. I have only recently in just the past couple of years learned to forgive myself for the terrible mistake that I had made, but never will I ever condone abortion ever again.
Moral is, even if you don't regret it right away, you will regret eventually no matter what.
For anyone that’s ever known me, they will tell you all I wanted to be when I grew up, was a mum. The one person I want to meet is my firstborn. Of course I wanted it to be in the right circumstances, but life is not ideal.
I had this little baby inside me; it was 8 weeks and 1 day old, healthy and kicking along, and four days ago I killed it. I justified my decision at the time, but when considering this decision, I spent so long focusing on everything I would lose and didn’t stop to think about what I might gain.
I always thought I would be able to live with a child a lot easier than I could living with myself if I ended one's life. How can I love any future kids I have, knowing I killed their brother/sister? I made a desperate decision in the pressure to decide in haste, and I made the wrong choice. Up until Thursday I was ok with the decision I made because I knew I could change my mind, but afterwards I couldn’t go back because it was gone. I was selfish and scared and I made the wrong decision.
I want my tummy to not be sore anymore and I want my heart to stop hurting and I hate thinking too much. I would never have considered doing that otherwise, I should have just listened to myself. I have no one to blame but myself because I alone made this decision and I have to live with it. I never wanted to live my life with regrets, and now I have one. I convinced myself, of two scary possibilities, that it was the right decision as opposed to the right thing.
Every time I walk outside, or turn on the TV I see baby bumps, babies, children, mothers, I don't want this constant reminder. There's nothing to look forward to. I didn't even give this little baby a chance: I played God and took it's life away, and who am I to do that? I played up and I avoided the consequences because I am weak, and this poor little kid who I loved before it existed, paid the price.
11 months on, and it's a raw as it was the day I wrote that. He has left me, and gone on without a care, I made myself miserable to make a man happy who ended up leaving. Not to mention that it took me 4 more months of physical suffering and corrective surgery because they botched my operation, and now I may never concieve due to the amount of scar tissue that resulted.
I want my baby back.
Oh how my heart goes out to you, and aches for you.
Take a deep breath, allow yourself to grieve. There is healing and restoration, but it takes time.
Please allow yourself to let go of the "what if's". Please understand, I know it is easier said than done.
My first abortion was when I was 15. My mother heard from a concerned mother of a friend that I was pregnant and within 48 hours she had me at a clinic. I was put under anesthetics for the abortion. It taught me nothing.
In my late teens and early twenties I had two more with a man that I had been living with for several years, and the awakening that happened after the last, which was done at the very last point an abortion could legally be done, was sharp and life altering. I realized who I really was. I would see woman on the news who had killed their young children, and I would know I was one of them. There was no way around it. I am a good person. I have always helped out someone less fortunate, in pain, in need. I have this one thing about me, this will to abort, that is so evil and consuming. I've had friends say I am being too hard on myself, I need to let my guilt go, I wouldn't have been a good mother at the time, etc. It's BS and I clearly see that.
I read another blog on here from someone who said all she ever wanted to do was be a mother, but now it is such a grotesque desire. I feel the same way. I love babies, and to nurture your own must be the most amazing thing! There is no way now I could mentally deal with creating a child in my womb. I am not saying I don't deserve it. But I shouldn't, because there is something fundamentally evil about me. I let myself go there, to the killing babies side, and there is no going back.
I have no advice for women contemplating abortion. I am not for one side or the other, there are too many factors. I do think that whenever you take a selfish shortcut, if you are a good person, you will regret it. Life is great, beautiful, awarding but easily marred.
The way that my regret works its way into my life is a good start to what punishment I deserve. What a waste...