Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

A new study was done in Norway about the consequences of abortion and their impact on women’s mental health. It was found that women could suffer mental distress, anxiety, guilt and shame even five years and perhaps longer after having an abortion.

The study compared a group of 40 women who suffered a miscarriage with 80 women who chose to have an abortion, questioning them 10 days, six months, two years and five years after the event. Women who had spontaneous miscarriages suffered problems up to six months after losing their babies. On the other hand, women who had an abortion experienced more mental distress long afterwards.

The research confirmed that the emotional consequences of having an abortion could be massive and it underlines the importance of counseling to deal with the negative affects of abortion. Women should be given information about the psychological effects of losing a baby - either through miscarriage or abortion.

Loading...

I am responding to the post "Abortion regret 'lasts for years'". I had an abortion when I was 25 years old, and although I felt it was the only choice I had at the time, I still regret it. I am the product of an unplanned, out-of-wedlock pregnancy and swore to myself I would never get caught in the same situation my mother had been. Well, I've heard it said one should never say never because the gods love to make a man (or woman) break a promise. I wasn't a good candidate for motherhood at the time: I drank too much, did illegal drugs, and in the downward spiral I was in, was cheating with a man engaged to be married. (That's another 'never' I broke, being the other woman.) And I had always been so careful with birth-control. But one night I was on Ecstacy with this man, and I said to myself, oh what the hell, I won't get pregnant...but I felt something strange, like something had quickened inside me, and thought with a sinking feeling, oh, great, I've really done it now... and so I wasn't really suprised when I missed my period, when I started to be nauseous all the time, when I could keep nothing down, not even plain saltines. I wasn't suprised when the blood test came back positive. I was 24. I had quit school because I couldn't earn enough money to pay tuition and student loans. I was working two jobs as a waitress; living in an apartment with roommates. I had no savings, no health insurance, no prospects. Nothing to offer a baby or support one; I was barely supporting myself. Yet I couldn't bear the thought of giving a baby up for adoption although I knew there were women who would give anything to have one. I made an appointment. Ironically, a roommate had gotten pregnant too, and asked if I would go with her to her appointment. I spent my twenty-fifth birthday in an abortion clinic with her, knowing a week later it would be my turn. And all this time I was sick, so sick; I thought there might be something wrong, that I would miscarry. But I didn't. My doctor told me after that I probably would have, but we can't know, can we? And that was the bottom of the spiral for me. A year later I had quit drinking, quit the drugs, gotten sober. Almost a year after that I was diagnosed with a depressive illness, which I've been struggling with ever since. I've never married, or had a child. Sometimes I feel God is punishing me because I threw one away. Then I remember that I'm not that important. God has bigger things to worry about. A Christian friend suggested that I'm putting myself above God, by not forgiving myself when, as I've asked Him for forgiveness, He has most certainly given it. But I don't feel forgiven, just guilty, and sad, and damned.
Reply

Loading...

This message goes out to whom ever is considering abortion and is confused and not sure what to do. I had an abortion on 8/30/08. It is the WORST experience of my life yet!!!! I wish I would have been a stronger person and would have left that clinic better yet never even stepped foot in that place. I want my baby back inside of me growing! I miss my baby! I decided to end the life of my baby that never did harm to me. I made the decision to stop his/her little heart from beating. I am a selfish person and at this point I can not forgive myself. I have been severely depressed and plan to seek counseling. I was 14weeks long and had originally planned to have my baby. I was going to the doctors, taking vitamins and eating right. I had 6 ultrasound pictures and seen my baby fully formed moving around and kicking. I was going to be a mom for the 3rd time and single. The father of the baby was playing "mind games" with me and wasn't making this an easy smooth pregnancy for me. He manipulated me into really thinking I wouldn't have a life with 3 kids and two different baby daddies. He told me he would send me money and make sure I had what I needed but couldn’t be there emotionally. He said to call him went I went into labor so he can meet his child. He was wrong when he made me think I would be a nobody!!!! An unplanned pregnancy is just a setback but your life is not over. Never let anyone influence you into making a life changing experience when you have no idea of how you will feel when it's too late!! I am only 27 years old. I was married for 6 years and conceived 2 beautiful children out of my relationship/marriage. My daughter is 11 and my son is 7. I had to lie to my children and tell them the "baby" went to heaven. To see the tears that fell from my daughter's face and know that I caused that pain was heart wrenching. I will regret this for the rest of my life. I would have been delivering a baby in late February early March. What was I thinking? I ask myself that every moment of the day. Please don't decide on impulse and DO NOT allow a man to manipulate you into feeling like you are not capable of being successful in the future because of a LIFE you have created. Please don't stop that heart from beating...if you are on this site it is for a reason...God has a plan for you and it is not at an abortion clinic. I am willing to talk to you even by phone please let me know if I can help in any way!!!!
Reply

Loading...

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story cmata. I am currently pregnant. I am not married and do not know the father very well. It is one of those crazy mistakes that just happened in the heat of the moment. I was considering having an abortion because we just started dating and the timing is just off with the terrible economy, I have no health insurance and the list goes on and on and on....

I've had 2 abortions in the past, both a very long time ago, and reading your post reminded me of the pain I felt and has stopped me from making that mistake again. This was not planned, but who am I to interfere with God's work. I'm scared to death as I don't have any children and could probably be certified as crazy to have this child in the situation that I'm in right now, but I do believe that I am on this site for a reason and I do believe that God has a plan for me and my baby and so I walk in faith that we will be ok.

Thank you again.
Reply

Loading...

i consider myself to be a person who loves people, animals and God; but earlier this year i had an abortion at the age of 33. i also felt like I didn't have any other choice. my boyfriend was experiencing finanacial difficulties with his new business, we were facing car repossessions, arguements and emotional episodes of abuse. i couldn't see that being the right setting for pregnacy and a child. I honestly felt like the baby would be fatherless and because my mother grew up largely in a single parent home; I never wanted to have a child without being married and feeling like my child's father would put us first. Well I didn't feel like that. our relationship has been somewhat abusive. he frequently drinks and is somewhat controlling. at the time, i couldn't think about a happy healthy pregnancy and delivery let alone a the beautiful baby that would grow up to be a wonderful person--- despite the fact that I was eating well, getting ample rest and hoping that he would show me he was responsible and would take care of us. as I grew closer to the 9 week period, i was looking for him to give me a glimmer of hope that he would take care of us, but if he didn't i had made up in my mind that unless there was a big change for the better then i would have too terminate before I viewed the embroy as a real child...The BIGGEST MISTAKE of my LIFE...Everyday, i think of my baby... I would be about to deliver any day and I can't bring back the lil one...I guess my selfishness and ideal thoughts kept me from seeing the blessing and having the faith that God can and will bring you through...Do the right thing...I went to the clinic 2 times and I asked the other females there were we doing the right thing...I failed the test---I didn't trust that God would see me through...If you trust God totally you will be fine...
Reply

Loading...

I believe that every woman has the right to choose what happens to her own body and that every woman is in a different circumstance, which may dictate her needs at the time.

Saying that, I am 25, I already have a daughter and... I have recently been through an abortion.

I wake up in the middle of the night and know something is missing. The physical pain of what I went through pales in comparison to the agony that I am in now. I clutch my stomach and beg God to put it back.

When I told my partner we were pregnant, he - without hesitation - said "you have to have an abortion". All of the sudden, he wasn't the man I thought he was. My heart sank. I tried to explain to him, over a number of weeks, that we could, that we should. But he kept coming back to me about a lack of money...

I went alone. I sat there on the table alone. Waiting. Waiting for someone to save me. Waiting for someone to tell me it was okay to walk out of there.

I was unsedated when the doctor preformed the abortion. I cried through the whole thing. And he left me, crying, on the table - alone again.

I called my boyfriend when I got home to let him know how things went - my phone call woke him up, he had slept through it. I asked if he would come see me - to which he said "tomorrow, baby". Tomorrow came and went - he attended a work party instead.

It's been 3 weeks. I am so angry I could punch him. And while he can forget and continue on, I am left with the memory of signing my unborn son or daughters life away. The feelings will fade in time, I am sure. But I will always regret this decision - and I have no one to blame but myself.

I don't know what to do. :-(
Rachel
Reply

Loading...

I had an abortion in the beginning of October. I can't live with myself. I made a huge mistake. People were trying to persuade me to "get rid of it". as if it was a piece of garbage. I wanted that baby. I still do. The father told me one night that it would crush him if I had an abortion. and I did, I let him down, I lied to him and told him I had a miscarriage. I killed my own child. And disregarded the wishes of the man I love more than anything. I let the pressures of my friends and family get to me. Ultimately it was me who made that horrible screwed up decision. and I will be haunted by it for the rest of my life. The day of the procedure I cried all morning. I knew I was making the wrong choice, I knew it as I sat in the clinic waiting for the doctor to enter the room. What did I do!??! Each day is a struggle not to completely break down. The guilt and sadness is overwhelming and I cry all the time. Anything can provoke me to crying. I hate myself more each day. Wondering why I did what I did. I tell myself that I am just unfit. I do not have the financial means to raise a child. But the truth is I am just a coward. I made a major mistake. Nothing can ease the pain.
Reply

Loading...

I had an abortion in March of this year. At the time I had it I not only felt completely numb about it, I simply didn't care. But intense regret has since visited me and a pain that's different from everything I've ever felt has settled inside of me. There is such a strong feeling of loss and yet such an inability to mourn my child's death because deep down I KNOW I killed my baby. DON'T HAVE AN ABORTION! It will put you through mental torture like nothing you've ever known and it WON'T go away!
Reply

Loading...

i am referring to the 25 yar old that was partying, using drugs, had slept with another man other then my boyfriend, because it sounds like me. i am 24 years old and i found out i was pregnant Nov.24th of this year. the hospital said i was 6 weeks 4 days, i was at the hospital because i had come light pink bleeding. i am sooo stressed and confused and alone! i dont know what to do, i am so lost! i've gotten an obortion before when i was 19years old, and it was the one of the worst feelings in the world. but yet my boyfriend (the man i love) got arrested at the hospital, for warrants ...he's currently in jail ...don't know when he's getting out, he has a bad drug problem, with herion. i'm scared the baby's already been effected by the drug use during the pregnancy, i'm already scared i'm gonna be alone nevermind having a baby with mental or physical problems. thats all i keep thinking about ...alone with a sick baby. i can't sleep, eat, i'm depressed. me and my boyfriend have only ben together for about 2 months or a litttle more. but he's gone now. what do i do? i'v made a appointment for another ultra sound for tomorrow ...and i hate to say it but have also made a appoitment for a abortion tuesday. my boyfriend wants me to keep the baby, i'm soo scared. i'm out here alone, and what if he goes back to jail or starts usuing drugs AGAIN, and nevermind the fact we've only beeen togther for 2 months. SOMEONE, NE ONE PLEASE GIVE ME NE FEED BACK, i need it!!!! ?
Reply

Loading...

my old opinion on abortion was this: it should be a choice, and there are times when it's appropriate, but ITS NOT FOR ME. yeah, thats how i felt... until teenage pregnancy happened to me.

i was with someone i really really liked, and was falling in love with, and i practically made the pregnancy happen on purpose. i didnt even have to ask him what he thought we should do, i knew he was too scared to have a kid so soon (i was 18, he was 17) and i definitely wasnt ready either. i didnt consider adoption because i knew that if i had the baby, i would want to keep it. and i feel very selfish about this, but one main reason i had an abortion is because i have a nice body and i didnt want to give it up so early in adulthood.

i cant say i regret the abortion, because it was meant to happen and i couldnt have been a good mother at this point in my life, i am not financially or emotionally prepared. but i do regret not being careful enough with my body. i regret that i didnt prevent the pregnancy from happening. my uterus had been empty my whole life, but now it feels emptier than ever before. like something was ripped from it, because something HAS. i cried and apologized to my baby before i had it killed, reminding "her" that she was all i ever wanted.

the worst part of my abortion is that all my life, i REALLY REALLY REALLY looked forward to having babies. any time i saw a baby, id get ecstatic and say how cute it was. now, my passion for future motherhood has been dampered so badly. i no longer look forward to having a baby like i did my whole life. i am scared that karma will result in my babies either dying in my womb or they will be deformed in some way. i am scared to have babies, now that i killed my first chance. i am definitely paying for what ive done, im paying with my life. my excitement to be a mommy is gone. now i dont know if i even want kids, and that HURTS SO f*****g BAD because it was the ONE thing i looked forward to my whole life.

i may have saved myself from temporary setback from having a child at 18, but i am forever scarred, and i think of my dead child EVERY SINGLE DAY, hoping and praying that she forgives me!!!

there is no ending to this story, it lives on in my heart everyday, and i just hope that if i do become a mother one day, that it will be what i dreamed of as a young girl. i hope i am not doomed.
Reply

Loading...

Hi Alisonjanee,
I just finished reading your post, my heart goes out to you. You sound pretty devastated from this abortion experience. You mentioned in your post that you did not regret the abortion, but from what I have read, it seems that you might. Understand this is not coming from judgementalness of my part though.
In my opinion, I dont believe in karma, because if that were true, then we would all have to go to Childrens hospital and tell all those children with cancer, that their cancer comes from something they did in the past. I just dont believe that.
The good news, is that there is healing and restoration. It is a tough path, but nonetheless a path that will strengthen you, and help you to understand the truth about abortion, and the pain and suffering it causes alot more women that we know of. It has been through my experience of lay-counseling women and seeing the desperate hopelessness that seemingly engulfs them and how they see each day as sadness.
I can still "see" the pain in the post that you have. Do you feel like you are "doomed"? That is simply not the truth. I dont agree with abortion either. Like I said, though there is healing and restoration, but it comes when you are ready for it. The world will tell you lots of "stories" but the truth comes if you search for it.

Blessings to you,
Hizgrace4all
Reply

Loading...

Abortion is a terrible thing. I am a 34 year old woman with no kids of her own. I had an abortion when I a was only 18. I admit at the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't have anything against abortion then. I was not gung ho on pro-choice or anything, but I did have the whole belief that a woman has a right to her own body. At the time, I was definitely not ready to be a mother. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years by that time, and when I turned up pregnant he was very supportive, but he was unable to help me in my decision because he was in the same boat. He just told me that he would support me no matter what I choose. Well I chose to have an abortion because I didn't want to ruin his life by holding him back by having a child so young.

I remember talking to my baby, telling her that I am sorry for doing this, but I just didn't know what else to do. I wish I would've had someone to talk to back then. If even just one person had tried to convince me not to have an abortion I probably wouldn't have gone through with it.

My boyfriend went with me to the appointment that day, and waited in the waiting room for me also. He was truly very supportive.

After the abortion I did feel relief for awhile and I continued back to my old life again, but a couple of years later, I started to regret my decision. I started to realize the sin that I did in murdering my own child, and that is when the guilt set in. I had guilt for many years after that. I have only recently in just the past couple of years learned to forgive myself for the terrible mistake that I had made, but never will I ever condone abortion ever again.

Moral is, even if you don't regret it right away, you will regret eventually no matter what.
Reply

Loading...

I wish I had read this last year. I should be a mother right now. I wrote this in July 08, and if it stops just one person from making a mistake, then something good has come from this, God knows nothing else ever will.

For anyone that’s ever known me, they will tell you all I wanted to be when I grew up, was a mum. The one person I want to meet is my firstborn. Of course I wanted it to be in the right circumstances, but life is not ideal.



I had this little baby inside me; it was 8 weeks and 1 day old, healthy and kicking along, and four days ago I killed it. I justified my decision at the time, but when considering this decision, I spent so long focusing on everything I would lose and didn’t stop to think about what I might gain.



I always thought I would be able to live with a child a lot easier than I could living with myself if I ended one's life. How can I love any future kids I have, knowing I killed their brother/sister? I made a desperate decision in the pressure to decide in haste, and I made the wrong choice. Up until Thursday I was ok with the decision I made because I knew I could change my mind, but afterwards I couldn’t go back because it was gone. I was selfish and scared and I made the wrong decision.



I want my tummy to not be sore anymore and I want my heart to stop hurting and I hate thinking too much. I would never have considered doing that otherwise, I should have just listened to myself. I have no one to blame but myself because I alone made this decision and I have to live with it. I never wanted to live my life with regrets, and now I have one. I convinced myself, of two scary possibilities, that it was the right decision as opposed to the right thing.



Every time I walk outside, or turn on the TV I see baby bumps, babies, children, mothers, I don't want this constant reminder. There's nothing to look forward to. I didn't even give this little baby a chance: I played God and took it's life away, and who am I to do that? I played up and I avoided the consequences because I am weak, and this poor little kid who I loved before it existed, paid the price.



11 months on, and it's a raw as it was the day I wrote that. He has left me, and gone on without a care, I made myself miserable to make a man happy who ended up leaving. Not to mention that it took me 4 more months of physical suffering and corrective surgery because they botched my operation, and now I may never concieve due to the amount of scar tissue that resulted.

I want my baby back.
Reply

Loading...

Guest,
Oh how my heart goes out to you, and aches for you.
Take a deep breath, allow yourself to grieve. There is healing and restoration, but it takes time.
Please allow yourself to let go of the "what if's". Please understand, I know it is easier said than done.


Hizgrace
Reply

Loading...

I see these words over and over when I am reading blogs about abortion regret; torture, mistake, pain, weak, living hell. Abortion takes such a mental toll that I wonder what caused me to make it through the 3 elective abortions I've had. How did I not leave after seeing the blip on the ultrasound, the dirty stained chairs and sticky magazines, the girl laying on a wooden bench clutching her stomach and crying.
My first abortion was when I was 15. My mother heard from a concerned mother of a friend that I was pregnant and within 48 hours she had me at a clinic. I was put under anesthetics for the abortion. It taught me nothing.
In my late teens and early twenties I had two more with a man that I had been living with for several years, and the awakening that happened after the last, which was done at the very last point an abortion could legally be done, was sharp and life altering. I realized who I really was. I would see woman on the news who had killed their young children, and I would know I was one of them. There was no way around it. I am a good person. I have always helped out someone less fortunate, in pain, in need. I have this one thing about me, this will to abort, that is so evil and consuming. I've had friends say I am being too hard on myself, I need to let my guilt go, I wouldn't have been a good mother at the time, etc. It's BS and I clearly see that.
I read another blog on here from someone who said all she ever wanted to do was be a mother, but now it is such a grotesque desire. I feel the same way. I love babies, and to nurture your own must be the most amazing thing! There is no way now I could mentally deal with creating a child in my womb. I am not saying I don't deserve it. But I shouldn't, because there is something fundamentally evil about me. I let myself go there, to the killing babies side, and there is no going back.
I have no advice for women contemplating abortion. I am not for one side or the other, there are too many factors. I do think that whenever you take a selfish shortcut, if you are a good person, you will regret it. Life is great, beautiful, awarding but easily marred.
The way that my regret works its way into my life is a good start to what punishment I deserve. What a waste...
Reply

Loading...