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Hi, I have had regrets after abortion. What would have happened if I‘ve chosen to keep the baby?

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Hi, when I was younger I couldn’t realize, what the problem about ethical question of abortion was. I never thought of it as a life changing experience, and after I had one I realized how wrong I was. After I thought, that I have made a mistake. When I told my mother about deciding to have an abortion my encouraged it, so I made up my mind to go through with it. My boyfriend wanted to keep the baby, but I believe that it was my decision. After I did it I started to question myself, if it was really my decision, or have I just done what was rational to do. I feel sorry, but it is too late.
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Do you have enough money to support children NOW? If you had chosen to keep the baby, you could have ended up having a child that grows up in poverty.

Children deserve the BEST, and if you cannot provide the best, then you have adoption and abortion.
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i think u should have kept the baby and listened to ur boyfriend having an abortion is like killing the baby 8-|
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i think its rude for you to say that she should have listened to her boyfriend and kept the baby because an abortion is like killing the baby.



i was 17 and had an abortion. i regret it i do and the funny thing is i keel like a murderer i keep telling myself i killed it but for someone to say that when they haven't been in the situation of having one is plain rude u have no idea how hard and how much it can affect ppls lives. its only been 3 months since my abortion and i hate myself every day for it i tell myself i did the best thing for the baby as i couldn't give it much financially n im not with the guy whom wld hav bee the dad at the same time i got pregnant n i took its life from it i cld have had it i wouldn't survived but not given it the life i want to. i regret mine but im trying to accept it n mve on no one should beat them self up over it and certainly don't listen to anyone who puts u down about it or says its wrong to have one we make our own decisions for wat seems best at the time. il never forget i ahd one it will always be in my mine and so i can keep it with me il get a tattoo wirds of meaning about it. regret is just an emotional expression of confusion. it is not rong to get an abortion.
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I really sorry for anybody that has gone through an abortion, everybody keeps on telling you that is o.k. soon you will get over it, but as I am sure you both know that is not true.

I would like to recomend you an organisation that can help you to look at your life before the abortion, what leads you to that decision and then to look at your life after the abotion, and accept that probably that was the wrong thing to do, because you will never be able to move on unless you aknowledge what is true in your heart. I could not understand why I couldn't get over it, until I accepted the true, what I did was wrong very wrong, but I was forgiven and it was only then that I was able to move on. personally I don't think you can do it on your own you need profesional help, but be very careful as you might gather pro-choice will never let you accept what you did is wrong, it will damage their campain, look for somebody that is really interested in your personal healing not fighting their corner being pro-choice or pro -life.

good luck
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Not trying to sound like a nag, but please do your research, i have also had an abortion, and i regret it everyday of my life, there is nothing anyone can do to change it, but atleast before you do it, or anyone that you know, you could inform them of what is actually involved.....may sound trivial , but i had no idea...
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Here's what happens if you don't have an abortion: You have a child and have a great life! Twice in my life I've been faced with unplanned pregnancies: once in high school and later in a bad marriage. I kept all my children (the second pregnancy being twins) and still finished high school, then went on to graduate with an associate's and later a bachelor's degree. I am divorced now, but I own a brand new home and I love my job. Apparently I missed the statistics and am not living in poverty! But really, ladies, be smart. Do your research and if you're a strong person, you will come out just fine. At this point in my life, 28, I am so happy! It's about projection, dream of the life you want to live and you will live it. It sounds cliched, but it's true. I enjoy being independent and the funny thing about independent women is we attract a lot of men...which is really annoying! I love being a mother, I love being single, hey, I love my life! Don't mean to gloat, but stereotypes are really annoying. Unplanned pregnancies do not mean the end of the world, that's an old belief, women are much stronger than that to give into that outdated assumption.
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i had an abortion at the start or this year and i regret every last second i dont feel that the hospital asked all the right questions although i cannot blame them. i wanted to keep my baby it was my partner that didnt he made me decide and i now wish that iwould ov choose the baby im still with my partner and love him very much i just carnt help thinking what if...... :-(
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I had an abortion many years ago, and the only regret I ever felt was regret that I wasn't more responsible about using birth control. After the abortion, I was much more conscientious about using birth control, and never got pregnant again. I hear that some women do have regrets, but I know I made the right decision. I've also had friends who had abortions, most of whom have gone on to become mothers, and they feel as I do, that it makes a lot more sense to wait to have babies until you're able to be a good mother.
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I don’t know how to tell you this but I wanted you so bad.
I love your father very much and wished he loved me back.
It’s not the right time.
It’s never going to be the right time!
You are never going to be ready for a child!
You don’t deserve what is going to happen to you at all.
I am so sorry for having to do this to you.
Please sleep with the angels and know that I care so much for you.
It’s going to take me a long time to stop thinking about you which is fine.
In no way, shape or form will I ever let this happen again.
The only reason I choose to go along is to get this man out of my life.
I don’t want him to resent you.
I’m afraid if I let you grow he’ll treat you wrong.
I love you with all my heart and vow to make a difference.
Your brother doesn’t know and probably never will.
I will never let this happen again.
Please understand I don’t want anyone to hurt you especially your dad.
You never really know a person until they are put in a crisis position.
You did help me baby, find out for real the real man that he is.
A man is supposed to embrace new life and be excited, scared, and grow into together.
Your dad is never going to be able to do that.
He’s weak, selfish, and inconsiderate.
He deserves all the failures he’s endured in his life.
I do not condone his lifestyle choices and I can’t believe I even had to do this.
I promise I will never do this again.
With all my heart I know that this is the biggest mistake I will ever endure.
I promise you all my life will never be the same.
I hope you do not hate me.
I don’t blame you at all.
I’m so stupid for being with a boy who doesn’t care about nobody but himself.
I would never do this before but I’m weak and I know it.
I strive so hard to do the right things and look at what I’m about to do to you.
I’m weak, hypocrite, and don’t deserve any good things anymore.
I don’t blame you at all.
I wanted you so bad and look at what I’m doing.
There is no words to make it right, nor actions.
All I know is that you deserve much better.
Please forgive me.
:-(
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i too had an unplanned pregnancy... i was diagnosed with infertility in my early twenties. so when i became pregnant with my son,. you can imagine mine and my hubbys surprise.
i dont believe there are accidents or mistakes unless there is a rape or incest involved. especially when both partners willingly and knowingly have unprotected sex, hard to imagine a surprise when you know there is always a possibility.
what interests me more though is that women who willingly have unprotected sex, are more concerned with getting pregnant, than they are getting an std. that amazes me, personally id rather go through 9 mth of pregnancy then have to deal with a disease like
AIDS or HIV. but thats my opinion.
i have never agreed with abortions because i view all life as precious and i believe that only god should have the say. and i try not judge those who have them, i believe they have there reasons..though i cant imagine stopping a beating heart.
when i became pregnant, my hubby wasnt exactly thrilled, partly because i think the thought of having to grow up literally frightens men, and partly b/c we had tried for years and he just gave into the inferility-he wasnt the problem-. i on the otherhand didnt want to accept the fact that i couldnt be a mother. i had always wanted children and thought in my younger years while i was being careless about protection i was just lucky.
he had asked me if i was happy about the pregnancy. i was of course.. he went on to try to pull that b/s about we cant afford it and were not ready blah blah blah. i was 27 when this happened he is in the military and i work in the medical field. i simply told him that he had 9mths to get used to the idea and that i wasnt having an abortion. we now have a 3 year old that he adores.
if your choice is to terminate an existing pregnancy. please think about if this is what YOU really want. this is a difficult decision to make and its easy for others to encourage something like that, because you cant take it back. and most women regret ever having it. also make sure you get the facts... all of them. some women can never concieve again even after only having one EAB. there are alot of complications that most abortion providers dont tell their patients. remember adoption is always an option!!!
i also recommend a documentary called into the womb just incase you get curious about the goings on with your body and your baby.
best of luck to all of you
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i had an an abortion when i was 15 and at the time thought it was my only option now a year on all i do is regret it as people i know who had babys have delt with it and i fell like the girl who had an abortion and that thats what people will remember me as :-( i regret it so muchhhh
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I had three birth control failures with a man who was emotionally abusive and manipulative. Each time I was abused into terminating. I don't regret those. Those children would have been linked to a man who was cruel, disgusting and abusive. He had more money than me, he had me isolated from my family's help and threatened regularly to take any resulting child, get my rights terminated then give the child away. I couldn't do that.

Recently my partner and I found out I was pregnant and we were both thrilled. He was a little surprised, but happy. Three weeks later I was told by an OB and a perinatologist that due to being obese and having a unicornuate uterus I had a nearly 100% chance of miscarriage and preterm labor before I'd get to 5 months. We made the heartbreaking decision to terminate as neither one of us could see emotionally surviving the birth and loss of our child at that point. Three days after the procedure, another specialist contacted me on my general practitioner's behalf and said he'd heard what I was told and was appalled as there was most likely only about a 20% MAX chance of preterm and my only needs would have been closer cervical monitoring. Do I regret that termination? Yes. I blame myself every day asking why I didn't call more doctors. Why did I just believe what one OB and one specialist who worked with that OB told me? Why did I accept the diagnosis of a doctor who made it clear early on he didn't want to treat me normally because I was fat?

It's easy to say people will have no regrets OR that they should regret it. Every situation is different and no, no one should automatically regret a termination. They are safe, elective and legal for a reason because they are the choice of any woman who desires one. I regret the last one only because it wasn't necessary as I'd been led to believe. Today I would be 12 weeks pregnant. Instead, I'm counting the hours until my HCG draw tomorrow..then Monday so I can know when to start trying again. This time with a new doctor
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Well my situation was a little bit different then some of your all. I would like to start off by saying that I have so much respect for you that have kept your children and have been successful, however, not everyone would be where they are today if they didn't have an abortion. I know I wouldn't. Anyways, I'm almost 21 now. I was just 18 when I had my abortion. My mother had one at 17 because her and my dad were not ready to have kids. She told me how hard it was for her and as soon as I asked for BC she put me on it asap at 17. I took my BC right, but I was put on antibiotics and my doctor did not tell me they cancel out your BC. Me and my boyfriend had been together about a year at that point (He turned out to be abusive and very unfaithful) and I'm pretty sure we only had sex once or twice during that time but I got pregnant. I didn't tell my parents til after although I knew they would've been supportive. My boyfriend didn't even talk about keeping the child or adoption. He was set on abortion. So I was only a month along when I had my abortion. It was the hardest thing I have ever went through. I was okay with myself after it but every now and then I question myself. Am I a murderer? About 10 months after I had it my boyfriend left me, and I spiraled into a deep depression. I never drank or did drugs before but I started using and ended up with a horrible substance abuse problem (Oxycontin). Now three years later I am in school and doing good. Yes, sometimes I question if I did the right thing, but I believe that I did. I have overcome so many things in the last three years. I know now when I do have children that I will be able to give them a good life. Abortion is not for everyone who is not ready there are other options but if you do decide on it don't ever think that you are a bad person. What's so wrong with wanting to give your future kids a good life and being successful? nothing. Thank you for reading my story and sorry it's so long (I'm pretty talkative today, lol.)
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