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Hello. I am 26 Years old. I just found out I am pregnant.....o.O

I am in a committed relationship, and we have been together for 3 years, very strong.

My boyfriend has two children of his own, ages 6 and 8, from a previous relationship,

AND

I have two children of my own, 6 and 8, which are from a previous relationship, and their father is no longer in the picture, so my boyfriend has taken full responsibility on and is there as their father, 

 

We always knew we wanted to have another child, with each other, as we feel that would complete our family, but we did have a plan, We decided to wait until we get married, and I decided that 30 would be a good age to have one before age makes things risky,plus, our kids would be older ,,so i figured 30 is a good age to have my last one,...

 

We are financially OK, not bad not well off, but not where i would feel comfortable having another child. We are both parents, and we know mentally we are ready, but we do have 4 children that are semi young still

we just found out i am pregnant, which is a complete shock because we have been as careful as can be...

We have discussed what would happen if we did get pregnant unexpectedly and we discussed abortion, we agreed it would be the best thing, but now, like everyone says, its in our face and we are conflicted.

1. just thinking about going through an abortion, i break down and cant stop crying...

2. I had my first two children very young, and never considered abortion, in my opinion, I didn't think responsibly, because my bf at the time was very irresponsible, but nontheless, I never considered abortion, and now that i am trying to think responsibly, i am torn because i feel as though its not fair for me to have had my first two children and now that i'm in a better place, i'm considering abortion. I couldnt imagine not having had my two children..

3. I feel as though since I am planning to have a child in the next 4 years, its like i'm picking and choosing, if i terminate this one just to try and have one in 4 years....

 

4. Since we both want to have a child together, i worry that maybe this is my one chance and what if, for whatever reason , i cannot have the child later like we want , then how would that make me feel for giving up the chance i had, and gave up...

 

I am completely conflicted, i'm confused, I don't know what to do. on one hand i know i could make it work, but on the other, i worry it will put our family in a position of struggling and i am terrified of doing that.

 

I know i have t make the decision, but i don't know anyone who has been through an abortion , and really have no one to talk to about this..any advice/experiences/ words would be greatly appreciated.

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Hi Jacqueline,

I would feel the same way in your shoes, and wow, you did have your children young.  It would be a good story to share for others that have similar wants and needs at the age you had your children.  Anyways, that is not the issue, another time another place!

Something to think about: have your child as it seems like it may not be that great of an idea to your well-being and mind.  What I did at the age of 35 with my last child was I got my tubes tied and cauterized - I had a c-section and of course did it at the same time but you can also do it after.  There would be no more worries or concerns - unless of course your tubes grow back or a small opening appears for the sperm to travel through.  Your partner could get a vasectomy, the list goes on.

My personal opinion is that you would always think about your abortion and what if, what would they look like, they would this old (especially when you see other children around the same age), etc.  Also, if you wait until you are 30 your other children are 12 - 13 years older than that child, being the youngest with an age gap of 10 years, I was always thought of as spoiled and did not have a great relationship with my siblings until after I was 25 years old.  That sucked, it felt like I was picked on all the time.

Just wanted to give you some things to think about.

Hope this helps and good luck with your difficult decision ahead of you!  BTW it's never the right time....

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