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Hi everyone

I'm so tired and sad and just angry about my situation. I am 35, my husband is 42- we have been together for 13 years..and we had always initially wanted children. We wanted to give them a life that we didn't have- so we worked on our career, have the house and have a good income. We've been trying the last 2 years but no success so we were thinking of going through fertility treatments. Now my husband has decided he is no sure if he wants kids anymore. I asked him, can you picture yourself with kids ever? he says he is not sure but right now he feels does not want them but not sure about the future. I ask him what does that mean?! he couldn't tell me why all he said was that he just feels like this way now. I told him he needs to make a decision of either yes or no NOW. I don't have time to waste. I am just so heartbroken and angry about this whole situation that he has put me through. Yes I blame him entirely. I told him that I cannot have a childless life with him, that's not what WE HAD PLANNED and not something I can ever grow to accept. I know for a fact I will resent him, as I am already starting to. We are planning to go to counselor but honestly I dont know how that would help me. i know my answer on this matter and am not willing to compromise at all. Does anyone think I am unfair? I just feel like I am being mean to him, I can't look or even talk to him right now without some bitter remark! I just feel.....so frauded in the marriage, and i've told him that ...and he said he understands...but he doesn't! 

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Hi Angry,

You have every right to be angry.  For him to change his mind after 13 years is not fair to you. 

I do think you should try counseling.  It may help him understand your feelings and you his. 

I'm sorry to say that ultimately, you may have to ask yourself if you want to stay in this marriage if you can't have children.

 

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