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I really need so advise. I got married very young and I have 3 kids from a 9 year relationship. I divorced and met my current husband. He was such a good step father to my 1st 3 kids that we wanted 1 more child together, so we did. After I get pregnant he started to treat me different. He was kinda mean to me. I thought it was just my hormons and things will be ok. Well, after the baby he became nasty to my 1st 3 children. Just yells at them alot and he stopped playing with them aswell. He became a little better to me but not my kids. Then things changed even more. We cant have a normal husband / wife fight. He always blows up and wants to tell me how much he hates me and he will only help with his child. It hurts! Then he always threatens to leave and divorce me. I try to stop him and he pushes me me around and even picks me up and slams me down on my back on the hardwood floors, he has grabed me by my throat and holds me down. He has kicked me while on the ground. Its just gets nasty. 1 time he even punched me in my face and I blacked out. He said that was my fault cause I shouldn't of been yelling at him. Well, lately he hasn't hit me in about a year but just resently I made him mad about something and we started fighting and he ran from the kitchen into the living room and slamed me into the wall by my throat. My 3 year old was there! He told his son he was leaving us. My son was freaked out! I just dont know what to do! My son loves his dad! My husband works part-time and I work full-time so my son is w him alot along with my other kids. My son loves being with him. And my husband acts like he loves us unless hes so mad he blows. I dont want another divorce because I hate taking my sons father away full time. My husband cleans, cooks, and coaches my 2 older 2 boys games. Hes good unless I make him mad. What should I do? I hate the way he treats my older 3 kids, he even hits my dog and cat when hes mad. Please help me!

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Health Ace
6885 posts

You might try counseling but he probably won't go so the only other sane option I can see is GET OUT or GET HIM OUT.

Watching that is certainly not the way you want to raise your kids and it is dangerous for you and probably for them.

I have little faith that he will change for the better no matter what you do or what he says.

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Leave! im sorry hunny.. but you should leave.. Your in my Prayers <3
Best Wishes <3 Jewlz
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You first need to understand that you are not the one who needs help, HE IS! It is sick what your husband is doing...you are a WOMAN, you don't need to tolerate any type of abuse by your own husband or by ANY man at that!

Now you say he treats your three kids badly...that is NOT right at all...and you need to do something about that. SERIOUSLY!

If you stay in this abussive relationship with this animal, the only one it would affect the most is your kids! Your youngest will grow up to be like his father that he was around so very much, and when your son finds "love" he'll treat her exactly how your husband is treating you...that is NOT right.

You need to have a serious talk with your husband about his abuse towards you and your kids, this will most likly lead to more abuse, which will assure you that you need to leave him as soon as possible.

Your right, divorces are hard and painful...especially on young children, but the physical and emotional pain you are experiencing while in this relationship will take it's toll on everyone whose involved and I'm sorry but that's NOT about to happen...especially not to your children. So leave him if he does not get his act together.

This is a serious crime and very common in relationships...I'd hate to see the end result happen to your family...so please, I beg you, do the right thing and not stay with this animal(he lost his respect of me calling him a man the first time he hit you so that's why i refer to him as an "animal")

People like him usually have some serious unresolved issues that they have experienced in the past...so they take it out on really anyone whose close to them...don't let him continue with you!

I'm always here to talk if you want.

Goodluck & Godbless<3

 

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You need to leave or you need to make him leave Your little babys do not need to be seeing that!! They Are way to young. Think about your kids! There safety! What happends if he really does something worse??? But I reallly hope u make a decsion quik!..
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I've known a lady for 40 years..good friend. Not long after she married her husband hit her. Her mother and sister showed up the next day in a U-Haul and she was gone. Leave now.
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You should apprise yourself of your legal options and empower yourself. Know there are options to protect yourself and family - file complaints with the police, get an order of protection excluding him from the home, and start custody and matrimonial suits. Go to your civil court or family court, and help desks will likely here your fact pattern and provide you in the right direction. It will be tough but worth it - and it will teach your children to be strong and independent. Additionally, document every incident, in a journal, with pictures and most helpful with police reports.  Find a lawyer sensitive to DV cases. You will prevail. Stay strong. The fact you have reached out already is a testament to your bravery. 

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It's abuse and it's wrong even if you "make him mad." It's not your fault. And it's not good for your sons to learn that this is okay and that you put up with it. Is this how you want them to treat their families when they grow up? It's is the scariest thing to make a move cuz you think you are overreacting, but you're not. Can you get in touch with a counselor and be completely upfront so they can help you do the right thing? On your own is very difficult. But no.... it's not okay to be treated that way even once. Abuse to the animals too is typical. Who the heck cares about "another" divorce. Seriously. Care about yourself and those kids. And it might also be the awakening he needs. What he has done is also against the law and not reporting it is wrong! Please please reach out to someone before it is too late. You are loved and you are important. And you deserve to be happy and healthy even though you can't see what that looks like in a healthy way right now. I am so sorry for what you are going through. And I understand.

Since you work full time, you probably have access to counseling (at work or through your medical). Please check it out.
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hi dear you are a strong woman you need to admit to yourself that he wants "OUT' for whatever reasons it seems strong enough for him to show it to you though abusive actions most abusers uses the same tactics they use to make you love them and then to make you fear them.. enough to stay and try to reason with them... abusers are lonely cowards who looks kind women like you but i know you are also strong now is that time to show it and walk out before he hits you a deadly blow that may be leave you dead or close to it. Time to move on you will be ok alone it is ok to be alone without an abuser in your home. trust me I care.
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Domestic violence begins at home.
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My partner is lovely but can Chang at a drop of a hat. He has hit me lots of times. I love him i think.
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I ma so sorry that you have to go through this Just Me. It must be horrible for you.

Well done for posting here because I am sure many women are going though the same thing right now.

2 things you must know.

1. Its not your fault. Its his! 

2. its so common. It probably happening to women right now as I right this.

The unfortunate truth is at some point you have to give your partner an ultimatum:

either stop with the abuse or I am gone.

How he responds to this will dictate your next step.

A common approach is to leave the abuser and stay with a friend or family member until he promises to stop. This gives him a clear indication that you are serious.

To be really honest Just Me, it is rare that a domestic abuser will stop. in fact often they will get worse. While there maybe periods when they temporarily stop their old habits eventually return. The statistic support this.

The most important is that you stay safe. Call a domestic abuse hotline and make sure you have friends/family members that know the situation and assist if need be.

Finally remember my first point:

1. Its not your fault

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Being hit is not love.I have been married for forty one years and I never once hit my wife or my children.Maybe get upset count to twenty and calm down.
No relationship is a good one that involves hitting the person that hits needs counseling.
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I was raped strangled my blood vessels in my eyes damaged.... that was 5 yrs ago I still can't let no1 close get out before he ruins all ur trust in men x
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Hi All, this is the first time i am posting my story :(, I am 35 years old, i got married when I was 26 years old, I have faced same scenario but with me it is kind of 4 or 6 times a year, when he is angry Oh my god , i wanna just run away, i have 2 kids now with him. he is controlling my life, even if i am working i feel like i am isolated, I can't just go out with my sisters without his permission once he is angry , he hits me, because i feel very scared, I can't even reply back or hit him back, some time i swear i feel like that i will jump from the window just to save myself. my problem is that each time i think about the divorce , i go and c teh lawyer but i don't complete the procedure because he comes and excuses, and cries , and i feel guilty coz it is because of me that he was so upset. i don't want to live any more in this kind of situation, i feel like he will kill me one day, i am very scared, i thank God i have my family who can hep me , my work, but still scared to forgive him again, last week i went to c the lawyer and I asked hm to start the procedure , plzzz wish me good luck,

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