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I know I should be feeling excited but i just plain feel as if I deserved it. My husband of 12 years has been trying to get me pregnant since jan. I told him I wasn't having sex with him till he got fixed. We have 3 beautiful daughters now. I just found out I am pregnant again. I don't want to be, I am sick of the way I get treated, I am sick of the way he treats me, I am sick of him accusing me of affairs, I am sick of him wanting me to switch my work schedule, I am sick of having sex with him no matter what I want he starts treating me very badly not physical abuse but mental abuse and I am so tired of it I have thought sucide, but i cant do that to my girls. They need a mom, but I dont ever want to have sex with this man ever again as long as I am alive. I decided to get my tubes tide after this one because I cant trust him. I HATE HIM. I need advice ive been told to leave, I have no where to go, Ive been told to kick him out, but he wont leave. I seriously doubt I could afford or manage to live on my own with 4 kids. If you can PLEASE HELP!!!!

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Rape is a pretty strong accusation. You don't mention that he forced himself on you, against your will. If you didn't want any more children why are you not on some kind of birth control? You could have gotten it without him even knowing about it. If it was rape, you can bring charges on him.
Putting that aside, the damage is done, you are pregnant. So...now you take care of business. You DO NOT have to stay in that marraige if you don't want to. You say you hate him, then find a way to leave the marraige. Please don't say "i can't" or "i don't know how how" come on, if you really are that unhappy with him and your situation, there are alternatives for you.
Mental abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse. Black and blu marks eventually fade and go away, angry hurtful words stay forever.
Never think suicide, you are not a coward. And yes, your girls need you.
You must devise a plan, and start thinking about it now. I take it you both work, okay, make some phone calls on your lunch break. Take a day off from work and begin your strategy. You obviously have an income, plan on taking some of your stuff that belongs to you and your children and start looking into self storage units. You can get one that would fit 1 car for about 50.00 a month. Contact Alternatives for Battered Women. Battered falls into several categories, meaning he doesn't have to be hitting on you with his hands, just his mouth. It ,means the same to this helpful organization. They will assist you for sure. They will put you up in their facility with your children. They protect you from harm. Your husband does not know where you went. Next, get a Restraining order so he can not bug you at your job. Leave word with the kids school that he is not allowed to grab them from school. If you are short on cash, seek Legal Aid, get your self an Attorny. Start Divorce proceedings. Look into getting an apartment while living at the shelter. If he should cross your path, call the police, he is in violation of his order. He will go to jail. If you are in fear of your life, make sure to tell several people that you know, from work, your kids school, your church, neighbors, friends, any one that knows you. If something happens, they are all aware.
I know it's hard to make your way alone with 3 and a half kids, but it's possible and very doable. Go to Social Services, explain to them what is going on, they will subsidize your income, they may help with housing, heating costs, electricity and food. They will give you formula for you new baby and cereal and milk for you and the other kids.
Get child support. Social Service will enforce that. He will have to go thru them and you will get money fro your kids.
Just get started, a little at a time. After you have made all of the necessary arrangements,pick a day that you know he is gone all day and take the final step.

I should have opened my reply with this question. Have you looked or do you want to look into marraige counseling? Is your marraige worth the effort, or have you tried? If you can not answer these questions with truth in your heart, not just your head, then move on.
Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing. Just be safe and take care of yourself. You have a little one in there that you have to protect now, as well as your other children.
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