Anyone Else Getting Butt-ugly During Menopause?

Wait, u can buy a young male prostitute in Amsterdam??? #retirementgoals lol

I came upon this site because I'm 44 and just going downhill fast. My good looks were gone by 40 and now my face just looks so ugly. I have not even hit menopause yet so I can only imagine, by reading comments here, what I'll look like in 5 years:(. Anyway, even though we're hard on ourselves, I know in my heart some things that I believe are true and I'd like to share them in hopes it encourages others. I worked with seniors for a few years and have a deep love for the frail elderly (the oldest of the old) because of that experience. I feel like they are today's "untouchables" in American society because they represent all that Americans despise and fight so hard to avoid: the loss of beauty and youth. We are a youth-worshipping society but not all societies are. When people get old, instead of honoring them, we brush them aside and see them as "ugly" "cranky", and useless. Instead, they should be seen as the wise elders they are, the ones we seek out for wisdom. Their stability can be a source of comfort for children, who often live life at a slower pace, just like the elderly. One of the most beautiful women at a facility I once worked at was the oldest lady there. She was 101 and kind of crazy but she had the absolutely most beautiful smile I think I've ever seen in my life and when she smiled, she lit up the room. Not kidding. Everyone in the building LOVED her. The caregivers always had her hair done up pretty with pretty bows, etc... I'm convinced the reason she lived so long was just so she could be a blessing and source of joy to those at the facility. Although beauty may no longer be found on our face, we have the opportunity to find creative ways to make this world a more beautiful place. It's not about us being the center of attention...it's about learning to think about others more and us less... Young people need our life experience, our wisdom gained from that experience, our comfort, our encouragement, our hand to hold, our patience. They might not know they need us but they do. Now I need to take my own advice and focus on these truths instead of letting discouragement get the best of me.

Thanks for the positive outlook and advice. It's so depressing here. lol

To answer your question, no I was never “ thick” before menopause. I was between a size 4-6, now after menopause and having done every diet out there, I can’t drop below a size 12. All of my hair turned grey and my face aged 10 years almost overnight. It is dreadfully unfair.

You may never see this but I love your attitude! I think you're my long lost motivational best friend!!!

HAHAHA! Exactly! I am taking this forum as it should be taken...a nice place to b***h about our fading looks! So let everyone be who they need to be! If they want to complain about getting old, so be it! Complaining in a group is always good! I was never beautiful but was really cute. Even into my early 50's people couldn't believe my age. And that was after Menopause began! but NOW! LOL! NOW! I have saggy skin, dark circles and my favorite...my sagging f'n neck... Just a piece of advice ladies. If you want to feel worse just look your car's vanity mirror..hahah...I love this forum because i relate. I have good days and not so bad days. Whenever I want to stick a fork in my left eye over the aging process I make myself remember that at least I'm not on a forum where people have left the vanity of aging and are onto the pain of limbs falling apart! :)

I so agree. I’m pretty much done with life. This is. I fun.

I'm 55 - wrinkled, fat, saggy and have genetic hair loss - but I do the best with what I've got. I have a man that appears to love every flaw and tells me I'm pretty every day. Don't put up with these losers. Finding a decent man is like it always has been, you got to kiss a lot of toads along the way to your prince. Don't hold on to the stinky ones, nobody needs a man that bad!

No one should throw faults at you because your getting older. I went through an early menopause due to having an ovary having to be taken out at 44. My ex husband left me after 16 years for a 18 year old. He lied and said he was going to leave go back abroad to look after his old parents lol. Gave him a quick divorce to get rid. Asking my doctor to send me to see a Endocrinology as my Gyno wants me to stop the HRT. NO way as know it will only bring on the symptoms again. Maybe there is one with a very small amount of testosterone in it to get that libido and dryness pumped u lol. Got a cyst on my other ovary, having a ultra sound scan tomorrow, already had a rectocele and cystocele. Not been right since. Pelvic pain chronic day/night for past year or more. Then my gallbladder was playing up, had it out as advised too. Wish to god had kept it as lost over five stone now look like the walking dead. My face looks drawn and look pale and ill. Been taking every vitamin and Manuka honey. Eating very healthy. No choice as any fat goes right through me. Been diagnosed with COPD now so hard to exercise as on a breathing machine and yep life is over as I knew it. I was fit with abs and did not need any implants as my arse was Jay Lo and not an ounce of fat. Then the menopause. The joys but rather do without any man telling me I was looking old. Hopefully can have some form of cheek implants not surgical if possible. Lucky my arse is still taunt as try to do as many squats as can throughout the day. Got some serum with collagen in as that or Retin A will work the best. Make up covers a lot of f lines and contours what we want ladies :-) Regardless of all you go through NEVER stop loving yourself and try to help yourself look the BEST you can. It is a privilege to grow older, some never get that chance. So live each day well. xx

Amen sister. No man is worth making you feel low. Rise above and find someone who loves every inch of you. Makes you feel like his queen. Compliments you every day in every way. Loves you inside and out.

Thank you so much for your positivity! I am 51, and have fibromyalgia. I was super fit and thin before all this sh*t kicked in. Sometimes it just hard to get out of bed. I walked with a cane for a while. It's frustrating not to be able to do all the things I used to do, but you're right; I don't have another 50 years so I should focus on positives. My pain is now we'll managed. I don't need the cane. I'm able to work out and have gotten firmer (don't weigh myself anymore.) Anyway, thank you!!! You made my day.

Proud of you for staying so positive!

I feel sorry for that 18 year old; she's got a loser on her hands.

You sound cool, that guy does not. I dont know how fair you fight but he is sexist and ageist

There is hope ladies!! Try face yoga/exercise. It can be tricky but when done right it can work wonders at lifting the face. There are loads of inexpensive programs out there , faceaerobics on youtube is very good, but just google it and you'll find plenty. Toning the muscles of the body will also get your figure back and the increased muscle mass will help speed up your metaolism. Toning muscles is the answer to many of ageings nasty assaults

I agree- this isnt body dysmorphia, this is real! It doesnt help when people get all judgemental and say its vain or shallow. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice and quite frankly, women who are still beautiful are not in a position to tell others who are hate how they look to 'lighten up.' They clearly have no clue what the latter are going through. Its just patronising insensitive and unhelpful. And no, ageing is NOT liberating, in ANY shape or form!!!