Anyone Else Getting Butt-ugly During Menopause?

Have you tried googling 'face yoga'? Look up Faceaerobics on youtube- its free and works wonders at lifting the face

Omg how I can relate to your post.
Everything is falling apart. At 55i never dreamed I'd be n the shape I am. I am 5'9 I think LOL if I haven't started shinking yet. Was always size 2. I've been n sweat pants and yoga pants for so long I won't even try to wear jeans anymore. It's too depressing when they don't fit right.
My husband is very supportive but I seem to take everything out on him without meaning to. I stated going thru menopause when I was 53 so I'm 2 yrs without a period. All the bad anyone could get I have it. The hot flashes have worn me out and night sweats have made things so bad my husband mostly sleeps in another room because the AC is on n the winter. My hair is doing OK a little thinner but Def getting grey faster and omg I found a grey eyebrow last week was ready to just cry I know it's seems shallow and truly I'm not a shallow person or take anything for granted but this menopause thing is kicking my butt. After 2 and half yrs of suffering I broke down and went on estrogen and progesterone. It's been since Jan 3 and I have to say the hot flashes and night sweats have slowed down 75% I'm still waiting and hoping I don't get all the side effects from the hormones. I just couldn't battle it anymore.. But I'm still dealing with looking in the mirror. It's terribly depressing. Wrinkles getting worse, grey hair I'm trying to keep colored but it comes in so fast it's hard to keep up nor can I afford going to the salon every 2 weeks. Now I've started having issues with my teeth a d I have never had a toothache, cavity or fillings anything wrong with my teeth. They were always great. Now seems I chip 1 a week. Idk just menopause I guess but there has to be something we women can do that doesn't require thousands of dollars to make ourself feel better and get our groove back.
I'm just tired of feeling tired and sick

I wish the best to everyone
Susan Branham

I agree-this person has admitted that she isnt ugly so she has no idea what these other women are going through- so really isnt in a position to tell them how they should be feeling. Sorry, I dont want to sound unkind to her but how can somebody tell someone else not to be upset about something theyve never actually experienced themselves?

My heart went out to you and I just wanted to reply even though my reply might not mean much. I, too, am plain and invisible to those around me. But I firmly believe that God is so real and he has a passion for finding those who are invisible to the rest of the world and telling them how beautiful they are to Him. God has a big heart for the underdogs, the lonely, the invisible, the "plain". That's why when He came to earth, he didn't come in a big fancy parade. He came into a humble little family from a little country town of Nazareth, born in a humble little shelter for animals. If you ever get a chance, watch a children's video/book called "Punchinello". This sweet character goes through some hard things before he realizes how perfect he is to the One who made him. You, too, are precious in God's sight. As long as you are alive, there is a purpose. God has given you unique gifts and wisdom to share - just look for those around you who need it. Every time I've gone through severe bouts of depression, medication has never helped me. Volunteering is what got my perspective back and brought joy back into my life. I hope you can find that. It's there and it's a different joy than the superficial one we see on social media.

Thats like asking someone whos just been shot not to feel any pain. Its impossIble to forget about the menopause if its making you phyisically and mentally ill. If only it was as simple as deciding not to feel bad-but if it was that easy these women would have already done it. This is a huge problem and it cant just be brushed under the carpet or fixed with positive thinking. If you hate how you look, cant sleep etc no amount of telling yourself to just ignore it and be happy is going to help-sorry to sound rather unkind and negative-I dont want to make you feel bad but just wanted to point out that something like this might make many women feel like their problem isnt important and that how they feel doesnt matter ) :

This is a weird one. I used to hate the amount of attention I'd get when I was younger (harassed on the street, stalked etc) by "men". I'm actually enjoying my freedom from all of that now that I'm approaching 60 (menopause kicked in at 46 for me). Throughout my life I've had mostly troubled relationships with men and am quite happy being single so I don't understand feeling low about losing my looks as just the idea of engaging with men exhausts mentally. I've been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for 18 years now which has been a living nightmare (I became ill at 40 when I still looked at least 10 years younger) . Perhaps had I not become ill I would have aged better … who knows? I think I'd just like to feel like me again in terms of energy as well as looks. Also gradually losing all my "friends" and family over the years due to my illness has been a huge blow to my self esteem and losing my looks (which we all go through at some point in our lives) just seems to be that one drop too much. You'd think it would be the least of my worries. In terms of being invisible … when I first realised I was invisible I just felt a surge of disgust. I remember a time when I could hardly go out in public without either being hit on or stalked … and for those here regretting not having been kinder to men when they were younger well I regret the opposite: they were so not worth my time or energy. All I wanted when I was when I was younger was to be treated like a person once in a while and not an object of lust. I was kind to men but would end up getting hurt anyway and ended up abandoned when I became unwell ... even more so now that I've lost health, youth and beauty by my one time admirers. For those who think they'd be noticed/appreciated more now if they'd been kinder in their youth: I'm not sure if that's necessarily true. Many men leave their life partner when she gets older. Sad but true. There are those who don't but it isn't a guarantee. I guess men know they can count on their earning power to attract the ladies … or else they target younger women with daddy issues or with low self esteem who need a reassuring presence in their life (older man). Having said all that I do miss the odd appreciative glance as it is a confidence booster.

I didn't hit menopause until 54, I was hella glad to be rid of my periods, but other than that, this sucks! I use to have a tight little body, even up to the age of 49, also when I got my first wrinkle, now though at 56... ugh. My beautiful face, gone, my flat stomach, gone, my self esteem completely gone. I am going to try and get back in shape, but also afraid to lose weight in my face. No matter what we do at this age, we are cursed. I use to turn heads, that is a very hard thing to give up. My brain still feels 30, I just wish my body matched how I feel mentally.

You said “perimenopause”. There is a difference. I still had a GREAT figure during perimenopause. Once menopause hit, my body completely changed. Your hormones literally shut off. So stop thinking we are bitching just to hear ourselves talk. This is a real problem, and our doctors are doing nothing to help us. I am unable to work out because of a rare vascular disease and I had two strokes/2 brain surgeries. PLUS, I had breast cancer, which is right when my menopause started.

Watch out for those crooked plastic sugeons. I had a horrible time with them. It does not work on over 50's. Look at the pictures... Over 50 white women still look old after facelift etc..

Old white women are ugly....bad skin.. they age badly--- I look like and old troll..

I hear you.. I am 55 and hope to die in 5 to 7 years. maybe I should start a drug habit to hasten my escape

OMG.. I have this problem.. I look in Mirror and think I am not that bad (in the right light I see many, many many fine lines), but pictures.. urgh! Long thin face now. I hate picutres of myself... I bought a wig because I lost a lot of hair and it covers most of my face with long bangs.. it helps with the long face.

I had no idea that Mother Nature was only loaning me my curves, and would repo them one day. Sound familiar?

I will be 50 in a few months, but have been officially menopausal for over two years now (LMP 10/2018). So the symptoms began for me about five years ago (lots of anxiety-inducing hair in the hairbrush and shower drain, slowly expanding belly), and have now reached their miserable peak (disappearing eyebrows, eighteen months and counting for the hot flashes and grueling nightsweats, mind fog and extraordinarily doom-filled mood swings). But honestly, the thing that bothers me most? Yep, losing my looks.

Should it be this way? No, of course not. And do I regularly wish I could timetravel back to the 90s and early 00's and slap my younger self for being oh-so-self-critical about my looks when I was actually in my prime? Oh yes. But the fact is that women DO value their womanhood, whether or not they agree with the way society views womanhood. We go through puberty, gain our curves, and somehow assume that we will always have them. I always knew I'd get old, but what I was not prepared for was my hips and butt to deflate in less than a year's time. Someone here said that it was as if someone "pulled the plug" and deflated their butt, and I was nodding in agreement, because that's exactly what happened to me. My butt is well and truly GONE, and it was my best bodily feature for decades. I was never a voluptuous type, but I was still shapely despite that, and it hurts beyond belief to have that taken away. I worry constantly what my husband must think about the change in my appearance. I'm fortunate that he has never said anything cruel about it, but he HAS to notice. It's dramatic and sudden, and you can't NOT see it. Not only has my butt vanished; my breasts have shrunken to a startling degree, and my arms and legs have thinned, making them bony and sharp looking. It's as un-feminine a body as could be, and it hurts to look at it in the mirror. That's not me!!

I try to take a gestalt view of it all; I know it's normal and part of life if you manage to live half a century. And I also do my best not to feel bitterness about the fact that I have gained an Invisibility Cloak as far as the males of the species go. You never realize how much men glance at you and size you up until they stop doing it completely.I used to find it vaguely annoying when strange men looked at me as I walked past. Now, I would give anything to have a man look at me that way. I don't blame them; nature has set this as the rules. Our curves and softness are a signal to males that we are fruitul. It actually makes sense to remove that signal if we can no longer procreate But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with when you are facing yourself in the mirror and barely know who you see looking back at you. I see a tired, grim-looking woman who doesn't match the Me inside.

One thing is for sure: I can't stand hearing younger women whine about periods anymore, lol. Or listen to them "wish" for menopause. I remember saying similar things when I was in my 20s and 30s, without the slightest understanding of what awaited me. Losing your womanly attributes is psychologically damaging; I would go as far as to say it's traumatic in a lot of ways, and I didn't anticipate that at all. I hope that if there are any young women reading this, they stop wishing for menopause and ENJOY beting young, periods, cramps, and all. I'd trade with them in a heartbeat. Losing my lovely hips has been so sudden and startling that it's akin to losing a limb, almost. Certainly I have "phantom hip" syndrome, because I can still feel in my mind where my butt and hips SHOULD be every time I sit down or bump against something.

One more thing before I sign off on this rant: please be careful when considering HRT. My own mother took it for several years when she went through menopause, and she did develop breast cancer, which ultimately took her life. I will never take a hormone supplement, and I look askance at any physician who cavalierly prescribes it or allows a patient to take it for an extended period. It is not safe.

That’s one opinion. I’m not even in menopause yet but I’ve been on hrt 20 years-my doctor believes all women benefit physically after age 30 from hrt. I look like I could be in 30s too ( don’t have the issues in reading here. Altho when I got a wrong prescription ( for incorrect lower dose-my hair fell out. It grew back once I made the correction . Not for everyone but there’s many schools of thought on this subject .

Thanks! You made me laugh......good advice!