Anyone Else Getting Butt-ugly During Menopause?

I totally feel the same exact way. And to add to the aging my bf was 8 1/2 years younger. I know he notices all the changes and ran after 10 years and who knows the number of breakups. Blah blah blah! Aging sucks!

Is there really a God out there. Why would any one put such a bad curse on women. Childbirth and menstruation is nothing compared to menopause . My life was going good then MENOPAUSE. I feel as if I aged 25 years in a single year. Once an attractive, happy, sexy female I am now sad, and miserable I feel as if i'm 90 yrs old overnight. Because of menopause and low levels of estrogen everything is bad. Sex is painful, I feel so ugly, its like nothing matters anymore I would like to have more babies, but that will never happen. It is so unfair that men can just find a younger partner and continue to have more children. Im pretty sure that men enjoy sex more than women. God has blessed them with that also . Its not fair that women are dependent on men for sex. Men have an orgasms everytime. Has anyone had hot flashes while having sex ? What a great way to instantly feel so old and unattractive. Again why would God do this to create such unfairness and to constantly rub it in womens faces. I remember sitting in sex ed when I was 11 yrs old and finding out I would bleed out of my vagina every month, grow breast and my hips would widen. This all sounded horrible. We wanted to know what was going to happened to the boys. Well basically all good things for the boys. They would grow bigger and stronger, get muscles and have wet dreams. What the hell is that?
I cant take HRT as many women cant because estrogen after menopause increases chance to get breast cancer. Not fair I know if there is a God he HATES women.

My mum was on it for 12years.it helped her a lot. It's ok for some women to take it for a long time if monitored properly by a Dr.

I googled the same cause here in Sweden where I live no one talks about these changes. It´s considered very superficial and unintelligent to focus on apperance and superficial issues of your life. Menopause is totally ignored and men for instance doesn´t even know the slightest about this painful period in womens lives. They are just supposed to function as always, work fulltime and be their jolly old selves and laugh about the horrendous changes to their whole appearances.
I have been in chock the last 2-3 years even though people keep telling me how good and younglooking I still am. I´m 52 now and the changes of the skin (extrem saggyness, cellulite, uneven skintone etc) more or less came over a night, even though I got sleepingproblems, vaginal problems. weird urins/sweat smell, aching joints, UVI´s, depression, flushes a lot earlier around 46-47.

My period started to dissapear slowly around 50-51. But by then i couldn´t take it anymore so I started with HRT despite the healthrisks and local eastrogen for the vagina which gave me my sanity normal smelling vagina and sexdrive back. The main reason for avoiding sex nowadays is my physical insecurities around how my body looks and feels, and how it will be received by a new partner.I find it pretty revolting myself and don´t find aging bodies attractive the least in other people or men either for that matter. I still only desire young men and toned bodies which have been offered to me regularly for several years. Young men for some strange reason, have a thing for older women and love to have sex with us;) Men my own age on the other hand doens´t which I understand. I dated a few really gorgeous young men before the severe degradation started, now I can´t make myself.

About my face and skincare routines I´m still pretty pleased with my looks apart from the saggyness , hanging jowls and lipwrinkles about to slowly develop and the horrendous water retention around my eyes every morning that nothing but cucumber, lymphmassage and a good eyecream and some face yoga exercises can diminish. I have done face yoga for a couple of years which is amazing for toning the face. Try it ladies it really works! There are plenty on youtube to try. Another amazing thing is Phytoceramides, been taking them for 3 years now and see a great improvement, even my friends. Also collagen tablets are amazing to fight wrinkles and thinning skin. It plumps up the skin and rebuilds the collagen threads. I also take antioxidants, omega 3, vitamin D, B´s, calcium and lots of C and probiotica.
I also exercise, drink plenty of water and spend lots of time in the nature and do some yoga and meditation to control my stresslevels and help me get a more positive view on life.
So glad I found this site and to be ablemto share your stories. Made me feel less lonely!

Love to you all, your beautiful despite what you se in the mirror:) I hope we can get through this one the toughest challenge ever for our confidence

Your not alone! It feel the same about the menopause changes and have envied men all my life for their simple bodyfunctionsm how society welcomes them male aging as attractive and matureness. They hardly ever get ill either. I have been ill all my life, terrible periods, hated my body even when I was beautiful, have never had an orgasm with a man after thousands of intercourses,,,where´s the justice in that? The only thing I´m proud of being a woman and feel more fortunate about than men is my emotional life, my beautiful senses, my empathy, intuition, my passion and ability to enjoy things, both alone and with others and all the attention and priviliges I have received from men by just being a woman:) We have to build or inner lives more from now on and spend the rest of our days experiencing the world, our talents, all beautiful art that surrounds us and be more like men - accepting towards ourselves cause we are soo worth it! God bless

I feel for you so much reading your post and other womens in here. I wish I could just cuddle you all and take you to a healing beautiful island where we could all find peace and meaning:) And selfworth! Menopause is the biggest challenge brought upon us and frightening as hell, but we will go through it and we will laugh again..and maybe even love again:=)

Thanks. You just made my mind rewire itself. Go girl. :) x

How old are you,if you don't mind?

I came on here at age 46 to see what the heck had been happening to me in the last 6 months. My mother was an absolute nightmare when she went thru it when I was a teenager and I do not want to repeat her methods of coping....the screaming the ranting the tirades the abuse...it was horrible. Thank the gods you spoke up and out because some of these women scare the heck out of me! I love that even tho our bodies are changing, we can still find happiness outside of ourselves and find the inner peace within ourselves. Yoga, getting out to hug a tree, thats how Ive been coping but I do wish I could quell that inner b***h...shes just negative and nasty!

My thoughts EXACTLY!

Joan, your post makes me so sad. Mostly, because I realize that your words sound like exactly what I say to myself every day. I've done this my whole life. Even when I was young and pretty I never was easy on myself. Looking back at pictures, I don't know who it is I thought I needed to look like, but it's been 51 years of picking myself apart. Aging really is so hard, but I want you to know that there really is someone out there for everybody. Not all men are great looking themselves. The average man lacks confidence as he gets older too. I think there is beauty in every kind soul. Your personality will need to shine more now is all. I bet you are really beautiful and you just can't see it anymore. Please be kinder to yourself. It doesn't help anything to pick on yourself or bully yourself just because of a natural process. You are not young anymore, therefore you should not look young. Try not to compare yourself to Hollywood women, younger women, women in magazines, etc. Start looking at women your own age when you're out and about at the grocery store or wherever. You'll see. We all have beauty somehow. Try looking with a new perspective. Try to see all of your positive qualities. Easy advice, if only I could take my own as well. I've never responded to a post in my life, but I wanted to tell you, that I hear you, I understand, and please don't be so hard on yourself. Things will get easier. Transition is always hard. Especially when the media sets unrealistic expectations. Try not to set unrealistic expectations of yourself. Hugs to you!! XXXX

don't worry! life will get better! i'm sure you're not that ugly.

Thank you, LGR. I am going to use your advice. It is sound, yet compassionate. I'm not cute anymore either. I think the part about getting up and exercising even though you don't lose a pound, wearing cute things, keeping your hair done....in other words, putting a little work and deliberateness into it. It will not happen automatically, as it did for some of us in our youth. It's just a hard pill to swallow; nevertheless, it seems by your post that we can at least make a little bit of difference.

Now my part: Emphasize the spiritual. For me, that is placing my trust in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. After all, the spiritual is ALL that we take with us when we leave this place in a very few short years.

Hi Guest.
It's been a while since your post. I feel like you do, and I say the same thing, "How did this happen???". I also avoid going places where I might see people I used to know at times, although this has more to do with how I'm feeling on that day (pain, headache, sore...).

As far as the cosmetic aspect, I try some of the following:

--instead of black eyeliner, I use dark chocolate brown (under lower lid, thinly, just under the lashes). This contrasts less with my now pale skin color and gently opens the eyes.
--I stopped using cremes and anything with chemicals, since this dries out the skin.
--I stopped using foundation and focused on eating fruits and vegetables, which changed the color of my skin.
--I use natural oils as moisturizers, using old towels to wipe of the excess. This nourishes the skin.
--I apply a gentle shade of blush, evenly, and blend well, so that it gives a healthy, not made up, appearance.
--as natural as possible a concealer under the eyes and on troubled spots: blend well.
--I try not to use powder too much, since it settles in the wrinkles; however, I might dab a little on after makeup in order to set it, but very, very lightly, if at all.
--I used to have dark brown hair, it is now grey and brown--I do not color it, because I hate the regrowth and am allergic to chemicals. I take care of it; it's long and takes the large part of a day to do it properly. I do it when I'm going to be home for a few hours.
--I use a gentle lipstick if I want to.

The overall effect should be one of healthy as opposed to vixen. Vixen is anybody's prerogative, but it becomes less than flattering to even try to pull off after a certain age. I also now go out without any makeup if I want to. While it is not pretty, I'm tired of fighting a losing battle, and I sometimes save the makeup for special occasions or when I just can't bare to see myself in the mirror with all of the physical flaws. I then put on enough makeup to round off the rough edges, so to speak, and to lend a little grace to an otherwise harsh appearance and for the sake of other people who have to look at me (especially when I am in a lot of pain, it shows up on my face).

As mentioned in another post, I try to emphasize the spiritual, because it is getting closer to the time of leaving this planet. For me, that is faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and I try to remember that the Bible says that bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is great gain.

With all of the spiritual blessings that I have, yes, it is still discouraging to watch the outward man perishing day by day. But it will perish, no matter what we do. Time to emphasize the eternal, that's the part we get to take with us, of course, all through faith in Jesus Christ alone, speaking for my choice in this life.

And lastly, Guest, try to embrace your aging as another important and viable part of who you are and who God created you to be. It is another opportunity for you (us) to develop other things about who we are and about what is most important in this life and the next.

HaHa! Laughing out loud. You have made my day. Your comment says it all. When it all comes down to it, there is NOTHING we can do--just keep enjoying our lives and trying to adapt to the unavoidable changes.
Still laughing.