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Hello. I've been having some issues but it's hard to share it with friends thinking they might think its weird.
So i wanted to try getting some advise here.
I'm 23 year old girl. I graduated this summer. Recently I started feeling really ugly. And it seems that it ruins my whole life. I feel down, I have no interest in things and have no motivation at all. And i strongly feel it's because of the feeling i get when i look in the mirror. It's been bothering me so much that it sometimes makes me cry. Now.. I don't want you to think i'm like the ugliest person on earth. I'm avarage looking girl, people say i have pretty eyes (sometimes i think so too) but what I hate the most is that i'm avarage looking girl and i'm not considered really beautiful. I know it's completely stupid but i cannot help myself. It hurts me really bad even though i try so hard not to think about it. It husrts me when somebody says "god she's so beautiful" about someone else. I understand it is not a healthy way to think but its totally not controlable. Is there something that explains this? Is it just the period that will pass away?

Thank you so much for reading this.

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Hi hon: I would hazzard a guess that EVERYONE that has ever looked in the mirror has felt EXACTLY like you have at one time or another.

People who we feel are "Perfect" have feelings of not liking certain things about themselves. What I truly think is going on with you is this, you said you just graduated - hopefully it's not finally from highschool ;-) XD - So now you are at a turning point in your life, and it can be quite daunting. For nearly all of your life you have had purpose right? You get up in the morning, go to school for 17 years and then WHAM you're a grown up and you have to start afresh. So right now you are thinking of your next step, perhaps going for interviews, being scrutinized and that makes you and EVERYONE else in your position, nervous. So all of a sudden you are questioning everything, your qualifications, the way you sound, and the way you look. You go to interviews and look around the room and start adjusting your outfit or rubbing your teeth - to make sure you don't have anything on them - etc. etc.

What you and MILLIONS of others - including myself - have to think about is "what IS Beautiful" Is it blue eyes, blonde hair, white teeth? Is it 36/24/26 dimensions? Is it being kind and confident and trying to be a good human being? I think it's the 1st one, you?!!!! ;-) XD Just joking with you. I am 44 years old in 2 days, and I STILL look at myself and go "OMG!!!!! What happened?!!!" But then I look at women and men who I think are good looking and some of them are TERRIBLE human beings. And they become ugly - do you know what I'm saying? Have you ever seen anyone that is on the regular scale and they are surrounded by people being TOTALLY interested in them? And you think "How are THEY getting all this attention?" Well if you take a really good look at them, they are exuding confidence and compassion and caring!! They have a "Joie de vivre!!!" and it is contagious!!!

What you have to do is do what I have done - get a smaller mirror!!!!! ;-) XD - is to concentrate on the great things about yourself! INSIDE and OUTSIDE!!!! You have great eyes - there's one!!! Now what else? RU kind, do you have great hair? do you have a nice smile, ru intelligent? etc. etc. etc. Start thinking and BELIEVING the really good things about yourself!! Talk to yourself in the mirror - positively! Don't allow yourself to talk negatively and if you start walk away!! I have stood infront of the mirror and said the worse things possible to myself. I have said words to myself that I would NEVER say to another human being!!! And after I have felt even worse about myself! And the same can be said for talking positively about yourself. I know a lady that I consider quite good looking! ALL over her house she has affirmations stuck on her mirror or on the fridge, doors - everywhere she will see them. Just so she can leave the house with a positive attitude!! At 1st I was amazed, because she seems to have everything under control, but she didn't! So we may think someone is "beautiful, happy, at peace" etc. But they might be just as insecure as we are. So start thinking positive about yourself and thank God every day, that you are alive and healthy and are 23!!! and have your entire life ahead of you! EVERYONE hon and I truly mean EVERYONE feels the exact same way as you do, it's just how they deal with it that's the difference.!! I hope this makes you realize just how "beautiful" you are. And go out into the world with your head held high OK? Good luck and health hon!
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Yeah I agree, i certainly have been where you are, and i do recall my sister having gone through the same thing too, I dont know why we do it to ourselves, i mean what is really beautiful anyway? Its different everywhere you go, like i can go to an over 28's nightclub and feel like Miss Universe, then i go to say a birthday party where all my friends and their friends are and I feel like jabba the hut ! LOL i mean its not funny becuase it is infact debilitating, and does send you into the depths of depression and despair i know it seems purile when you think about why but i know there must be something else to it. chin up hun, I really hope you see your true value and beauty one day , and love you as much as im sure your family and friends love you .
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