I have been going out with a bi polar girl for 6 months. It was only month six i found out she had bi polar. She had a manic freak out hitting herself and the wall she needed me and i was there for her. We went to the doctor and she got meds. A few days after she slept with someone else and the day after broke up with me, the day after that she explained she had bi polar and as a part of that she had hyper sexuality. It was only when she started drinking that these problems occured. I was there the night she left with someone else, i was trying to look after but she didn't need my help. She seemed like a different person from a month before and her pupils were huge. This is now how i tell if shes not herself, and she hasn't been herself in a long time. We were trying to be friends but she had hurt me. I am pretty happy in myself as i know im doing the best i can to help her, but as we're not together all the time anymore it seems like one of my arms is missing. We started hanging out now and again but when she came to my house she would always be after drink and her eyes would be huge again even sometimes wanting sex from me. I don't know what to do, obviously i love the girl and have been informing myself about bi polar and trying to be as nice as possible. I have looked up hospitals and group sessions that she should go to and i have tried to tell her to go to these and stop drinking. She thinks she needs to do everything on her own and dosn't end up doing it. I know she needs help but know it will push her further away if i push it on her. She says she loves me but at this stage i don't know what she's thinking. We are now spending some time apart, hopefully she will come back to me and be loving towards me again. I feel like im putting in all the effort and getting nothing back. She gets impatient and mean with me if we try and talk about relationship stuff the way she is at the moment, but before we never had a problem talking about big stuff at all. To be honest i just want my friend back.
There is so much more to the story but this will have to do for now.
I am just wondering what to do, think taking time apart is the best idea if she wants to be alone and sort stuff by herself but i pretty much know that she will spend her time in the pub or sleeping with other people. I was willing to forgive one but i don't think i can keep going if she does more and dosn't sort herself out. If she does decide she needs me, i will be there for her but is this going to keep happening forever?
Hiya - do you still require advice with this relationship or have you since decided to split up?
I've been through a similar experience myself although it was my boyfriend who was aggressive towards me. He's since had help & is on the road to recovery. Its been a long journey but the key is for her to admit she has a problem in the first place & get help sooner rather than later. Also, I worry that too many people use these 'conditions' as excuses for their actions - ie; sleeping with other people/being unfaithful etc. Otherwise, they'd be seen as a tart or a slag - which nobody who has any ounce of self respect would want to be labelled. Has she been professionally examined in the past if she says she suffers from either of the conditions? Is she on medication of any kind? If she isn't willing to seek advice I wonder whether its because she knows she was making all of it up & doesn't want to get found out.
I think you deserve better, you should never stand anybody cheating on you!
Hope you're ok?
BIG hug xxx