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Before this "Incident" I was so carefree. So SO carefree. I was dirty(PHYSICALLY), I hated showering. I use to play all day and night and slept so late it was like I didn't have a care in the world.

Till one day...

While watching cartoons I was eatting.

I someone formed a reverse form of a placebo...

I was eatting food, and I couldn't finish it. So I soon started to think "OMG I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH EATTING?" Which of course... I really didn't... I was just full. Wow, what the heck? But when I was smaller I really thought I had anorexia or something. I got so scared everytime I couldn't finish anything and would panic and thought I had a HUGE problem. I cried sometimes thinking I was gonna have eatting problems. Soon, another problem formed, so horrifically, it wasn't funny...

Well... Not THAT funny but you know. Whatever makes you laugh?

So, I soon developed a sleeping problem, but really, I was just really active during the times I tried to sleep. I play on the computer, regularly day and night till sleeping time. So my mind was active I guess, and I would try to sleep. Most of the time I always take about an hour to fall asleep because of my activeness and that problem never crossed my mind, till that one day. I panicked, just like as I did when I thought I had an eating problem. Soon, I was somewhat very anxious and panicky. I would cry almost everyday, thinking what my life would become, what I would become, what was soon to become of me. Soon, my problems were fixed.

I started getting my life in order, not fast, but not slow. But sometimes I get attacks of fear or anxiety whenever I can't fall asleep.. well I don't have to explain why, I think it should be obvious, and sometimes, RANDOM THOUGHTS of weirdness can give me fear...

I was suddenly opened to the world.

So clearly, that my hygiene changed. I was very aware of my hygiene ever since my problems happened. I was more cautious of everything and wasn't as carefree. I started actually acting more maturely in a way, but also more immaturely in another way.

This actually changed my life so much, but not all in a bad way, but somewhat also in a good way.

However, the damage is irreversible, and sometimes I do still get random attacks of fear and anxiety. But now it's just so rare to get the fear and anxiety cause I put my life to order through logic, something I never did in the past.

For example, one time my teacher told me it was bad to think while sleeping, something I did everytime I tried to sleep.

He also told me playing games or watching TV can provoke thoughts or make your mind active, therefore causing you to have a harder time to fall asleep.

Piling clues and evidence up, I slowly told my self I never had a problem, and that what happened to me was a result of the lack of knowledge... Kind of.

Though I do think back of what might have become of me if I didn't go through this rough experience. Would I be smarter? Funnier? Braver? Dumber? or all those kind of things.

But one thing is for sure...

I regret eating my friends chocolate bar, cause he was hungry too.

LOL jokes :-P

But really, I do regret having that experience, because now there will always be that horrible history in my life.

Of course, I don't have those problems now, thank god :3

But I want you all to learn from my experience, if you do go through the same thing as me, don't be afraid. There are always logical explanations for it.

Man I'm such a nerd !


Hi ther,e it sounds to me like you're iether anxious or you might actually have OCD. In either case, have you seen a therapist about this? I think that it would be a really good idea because they can help you deal with a lot of this. have you considered it?