Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
I really like this post. I had gone to church in my childhood, but I really started to know God when I was 12. I started reading Scripture and experiencing his presence and feeling good. But afterwards I started slipping and and fell to the temptation of lust. I would look up lustful images all the time, and no one knew. No one still knows; only I do. I have been without God for a long while. Sometimes I'd try to come back, and I would for a little bit, but then I would fall back. In 7th grade, there was this girl who I never really took notice of before, but when I did i started to like her. Then surprisingly she told me she liked me. Over the past few years we've had on and off thing. We would like each other for like a month and then not for a few months. In that time period she's had 2 boyfriends, and is currently still dating the second one. I've liked a few other girls when she didn't like me, but when i liked them I still lusted, many many times. I would look up lustful images of even girls I knew on Facebook and I would masturbate and ejaculate. I have ejaculated so many times while doing this. I would feel good while i was doing it, but afterwards I would feel so guilty and disappointing. Right now I am a sophomore in high school and my life is bland. About a month and a half ago i started liking a different girl i had liked before, and in a few weeks we started dating. It seems after that things didn't feel right. I became more thoughtful of her than of God, and sometimes I would lust after her. I became really stressed and now my mind feels dead a lot of the times. It seems I can't focus a lot, and I'm not really there a lot of the time. I tried to stop thinking about her, but I still felt like a zombie or something because my mind wasn't there. Often times I will still thing about that other girl and realize she would be the better one for me, even though I couldn't date her right now. But when I get to school sometimes I'll start talking to my gf and I get some of those old feelings back right away. I felt good after a little bit, but afterwards I would feel like c**p. Because of this whole mind thing and not focusing, I haven't masturbated in about a week, but I feel that maybe my gf is like a new form of lust; I want to get away from it, but in moments with her I feel good but feel bad afterward. I know that I should turn to God, but I just don't get the urge to. This head things seems to take a lot of emotion away many times, and that bothers me because I like emotion. I want to get back to being able to think and being with God. I know that I should be a disciple but I'm often too tempted. I haven't gone 30 days without lusting and masturbating for a long time, and I think I need that. I often have dreams that I will one day get rid of my problems and be with the other girl that I like and be with God, but I need the strength to do whats right, even when I don't feel emotion. I need help.
Loading...
Best luck!
Loading...
can u get out of no mind or blank mind.please reply .
***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use
Loading...
Loading...