Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

I cant belive im doing this again! At a guess id say a few of you can relate. Ive tried putting off posting this all day but gave in eventually. I think i have anxiety, i had a big panic attack while high on numerous substances and didnt feel right for days. De-personalized, super restless i belived i was close to, or had already lost my mind. After a while the feeling wore off. I stopped obsessing over thoughts and everything felt (just about) normal again. I decided to quit the drugs and hadnt taken anything for over a month. Stupidly a couple of days ago i took some methedrone (mkat) at a party with freinds. Im furious with myself for this, honestly. I was feeling good on alcohol and belived i had fixed my problems. Imediatly after taking it i began to worry "sh*t, what if it all starts again, what if theirs somthing wrong with my mind and the drugs will bring it to surafce etc". Low and behold the following days have been awfull. Its hard to explain, kinda like i cant relax, im scared. I think about the mind, how does it work etc and i feel kinda empty like somthing is missing. My rational thought is saying, its all in your mind, a placebo, i thought the drugs would make me feel anxious so they have done. My irrational thought is saying the drugs have screwed me up and im gonna go mad or somthing. Not that ive heard voices, had delusions or visuals, but im TERRIFIED that im going to. Im not paranoid, but i feel a little spacey again in public.

I know this feeling well, ive had this mindset a few times now. Everytime i do the same thing, google google google!! I find a new mental illness to worry about every time! Honestly ive self diagnosed myself with just about every mental disorder going at some point lol. Ive been for a run and im about to cook some nice food and work out a little, try and relax. It might be worth mentioning i had panic attacks when i was a child. My dad suffers from depression and to be honest i think i get most of my bad traits inherated from his side of the family (their all worryers, depresive etc etc).

Im restless, bored, tierd, cant seem to think straight (however swalloing also gets difficult for people when they are concious of it, i seem to be the same way with thinking), scared sh*tless, pretty spaced out and emarased about it all to be honest. I dont seem to get full blown panic attacks i can keep them under control at the minute. I do feel tight chested occasionaly. I am a deep thinker, naturaly, i am a creative person with music and art. when i first took drugs it felt like a match made in heaven (maybe not eh?)

 Im so impressionable right now so please dont post unless you belive you know what you are talking about! I dont need some do gooder telling me drugs are bad, i have already worked that out :P. I need to go to a doctors but im scared to. Does this sound like anxiety to you lot? Its been with me all day now. Im sure if it was madness it wouldnt just go away when i stopped thinking about it. Im so tierd of keeping my mind occupied tho, its exhuasting. I cant rest :(. Thanks for your time. I await your replys :).

Loading...

i forgot to mention, my short term memory seems a bit hazy at the minute. Probly due to being stuck in my head and not paying much attention to whats going on around me. Also a new one the last couple of days, my body feels kinda light and weird. Anxiety?
Reply

Loading...

I have felt the exact same way,your post sounds identical to the one i wrote about 2 and a 1/2 years ago. Like you, I was convinced that I had or was very close to losing my mind. 
It all started after a huge party night, where I had way too many drinks and smoked weed and  dabbled in a little something extra ( a very tiny amount of mdma). A couple of days later I started feeling restless, then that turned into severe insomnia and physical pain and panic attacks. I tried every relaxation technique, every herbal supplement,  every book there is on anxiety and every web site, when finally I felt that it was time to seek some help. My doc put me on some anti depressants, but the best thing that really helped me though was when I started going to a psychologist. The first thing I asked her was, am I crazy? She replied, "the fact that you asked me that, tells me you are not", I felt so relieved right away. I went to her for ten weeks, and 3 months later i was off the anti depressants. 
Basically, what I'm sayin is that you have probably triggered something in your brain and have convinced yourself that you are losing it! The brain is so powerful and most of us underestimate it.Sometimes your brain just breaks down and says " I need a break", there is too much going on here" You say you are a "thinker" that means that you are probably more aware of things than most (me too). I can tell you that if you are like me, then what you need to do is re wire your brain ( sounds silly I know) but it's true, almost like a reset button. It is totally possible too, if I can you certainly can ( cause I was pretty anxiety ridden).   
I think that if you are still exhausted and are sick of fighting then you should seek out help.Make an appointment with your doctor and rule out any physical ailments and tell him whats going on. Trust me the last thing I wanted to do was take pills and go to therapy, but sometimes you need help, even just to get back to where you feel normal again, then you can go from there. I am not sure this way off or if it helps at all, but I hope it does. P.s  you will feel better!
Reply

Loading...

thanks so much for the reply. I posted this a month ago and its interesting to read and see how things have changed in that time. I have learnt allot about how what we think affects how we feel. If i think i feel spaced out and weird i will, if i simply ignore it, i dont. I have quit drinking (large amounts) and got myself a job which has helped take my mind off everything. I feel so much better than what i did, but im still not my old self. Did you fully recover? and how long did it take? Its been nearly 4 months for me, tho i do belive im on the right path to recovery.
Reply

Loading...

I had anxiety attacks and Panic attacks for 12 years..I did the exact same thing you did and thought the same way you did. but I didn't have a forum to go to back then.

I can see at this point that you are really frustrated and just looking for answers same as I did. You go see DR's and they say nothing is wrong with you. YOU AND THE OTHER MILLIONS! So bassicly what does that tell you! By seeing everything you wrote your a big thinker and you make up your own answers for what could be wrong. And this where the problems is! Your scarring yourself sh*tless! Your brain can only handle so much, your filling it up with your own BS! It 's like somebody was behind you and you didn't know and they screamed and you jump and when you look back you realize it was nothing and you laugh. Now imagine somebody scaring you but they had enough time to hide without a sound...what would be your reaction untill you found out. sh**ting bricks. Same goes for your brain.....(scream) your scaring yourself - (laugh) your BS!..So basiclly I'm going to say like every DR...you need to heal yourself by relaxing...and that's the hard part ....YOU JUST NEED TO FIND IT and use it as a starting point ..

But one more thing...since you said you were doing DRUGS I know you know its bad..But everybody is different and side effects and WITHDRAWALS are not the same for everybody 1-20 will suffer what you have now. so look back maybe on some meds and how you reacted to them and how long. And just to let you know some drug side effects don't go away for a VERY long time for some people...So if your just a TEEN..take it from me...Stop before it comes and haunts everyday when you get older...TRUST ME IT SUCKS!> 1 min your ok the next well.....exacly what you have now!

This can be your starting point

Reply

Loading...