I am a 15 year old boy.
a few years ago at scout camp i fooled around with a boy. i dont speak to the boy anymore and are hoping we just forget about it. However since then i have looked at gay porn as well as straight. i try to stop but i have to, i have stopped before but always come back.
I tell myself i hate it listen to these sites that say its a 'phase' 'learning curve' but am i just denying my sexuality. after masturbating to gay porn i always regret it.
Another problem i have is my friends think i am gay, they say it jokingly, like say im camp, which i am not that but it affects me cos they all seem to think im gay just from the way i act.
i have never spoke to anyone about this and am happy with my girlfriend but still look at both porns.
i just want this guilt to be explained.
i wish i could speak with some to explain it.
a few years ago at scout camp i fooled around with a boy. i dont speak to the boy anymore and are hoping we just forget about it. However since then i have looked at gay porn as well as straight. i try to stop but i have to, i have stopped before but always come back.
I tell myself i hate it listen to these sites that say its a 'phase' 'learning curve' but am i just denying my sexuality. after masturbating to gay porn i always regret it.
Another problem i have is my friends think i am gay, they say it jokingly, like say im camp, which i am not that but it affects me cos they all seem to think im gay just from the way i act.
i have never spoke to anyone about this and am happy with my girlfriend but still look at both porns.
i just want this guilt to be explained.
i wish i could speak with some to explain it.
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Your 15... Your hormones are all over the place. Your gay if you are attracted to men, want a emotional relationship with men and want to have sex with men. Sexuality is not black and white, its a giant gray area. I am only attracted to women, both physically and emotionally, but I sometimes read gay erotica, though I never watch gay porn its pretty nasty to me.
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its perfectly normal. you shouldnt feel guilty about it, its human nature
and you cant change it.
if you cant fight it, why hide it?
and you cant change it.
if you cant fight it, why hide it?
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Reaching out is the hardest part to start off with, but seaking others to talk with about your feeling is a step in the right direction. I know as for being an older guy myself, I never had anyone to reach out to when I was a pre-teen or teenager about my feeling and other stuff that was on my mind at the time. To this day I still think back about the times I spent with neighbor buddies and the fun things we done to gether. I felt just like you only didn't have the porn to watch but now that I am older I still do a lot of the porn sites or my movies, and I love to materbate to them. So there are others of us out here that share in your same feeling so just open yourself up and find someone to talk to you about it all. Good luck and be happy with yourself.
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I do the same thing and I am also 15, but I look at like training you body rather than being one way or another. You accidently trained your brain to react positively to gay porn. What you need to do is to train your self to make it a non-positive thing, as well as make straight porn more positive.
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