I have committed myself to this girl 110 percent. She has shown me the same signs of commitment throughout the relationship by offering me my 1st born. The trouble I'm having is some of the messages that I see between her and her ex. They were together for almost 5 years. They had a child together but the child died at 3 months after birth. Her ex cheated on her and treated her badly so she left the relationship. After about 4 months of separation is when I come into the picture. We started dating slowly but then things took off for the best. I've done everything I can to love her, treat her well, and help her mend some of the emotional wounds left by losing her child and her past relationship. Her ex misses her badly and sometimes messages her about it. She responds back with answers like "yea I wish things could have worked for the better." and, "If things went better we would still be together, I didn't want to leave you." This makes me very insecure and feeling vulnerable and I've tried telling her that to which she gets extremely defensive and states that I just simply don't understand what they had together and that she's committed to me but still grieving about the past. I need some advice on how to handle this situation please. I love her so much and there has been no signs of cheating and the closest thing to an overt statement of wanting him back were quoted above. I just don't know how to handle this.
"There are no signs of cheating" So no problem. The "dealing with it" part comes down to you accepting that the past is the past, we have no control over the mistakes and people who were in it, she and you live in the here and now, if she really wanted to still be with him, she would be. But shes not.
You love her then ; show her that you love her.
She loved him once, but she left. She did one of the hardest thing you can possibly do, let go of love for the sake of oneself. You need to be be tremendously proud of her, not jealous that she once loved someone else.
Give her your full support and faith. You Can handle this, you Will handle this, take control of your emotions, don't let them control you.