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me and my ex broke up we have to kids together we have had a lot of ups and downs I haven't been the perfect man that I could be but I recently got saved into church I've been trying to be a better man and show her how much I love her but there is something wrong she's not the same person when I didn't have a job I was the one at home with the kids I will cook clean n even run her bathwater rubbed feet try to make her feel good some days she was cool with this some days she wasn't when it comes to the bedroom is great but it's only every blue moon not like we used to she told me the sex is great but she don't want it all the time until we get marriedbutshe always says she's tired or make some excuse and when she does is on her time that's no fair to me I think but recently she gets mad a lot starts arguments then kick me up doesn't talk to me for weeks won't let me see the kids or drop them off basically things are not the same she talks on a mobile phone moreshe's never been affectionate but she just more distanceI'm just not sure on with the promise she says she still has trust issues but I show her that I am different end up the same person that I used to be so I give her her space but still makes me think there's someone else she told me that wasn't how can I believe her with her track record and the way she treats me she's younger than me but acts sometimes like a child when I love this woman and want to marry her I'm just praying that she gets herself together n we can move forward what should I do


Dear Larry,

  I'm glad you were saved by the church. I once read a book on how to tell when a spouse is cheating. One of the signs were them getting super angry with you for no reason-and the reason being that they begin to feel perniod. They spend a long time thinking that 'what if I get caught?' and then their minds shifts to thinking you are the ones cheating. I'm not saying she is cheating, but the only way you can really find out is sit her down and talk with her. Tell her that God has lit the path you feel is right. That she can be able to come to you for anything and that if there is another man in her life, it's okay to tell you, because at least she is being honset with you. Wouldn't you rather know then to be lead on till the last moment? Don't be afraid to talk to her seriously, and if she can't handle that type of thing then maybe she wasn't ready for a serious relationship with you anyway. If she can't keep an adult conversation with you then maybe she isn't. Just try to talk wih her. I hope I helped a little?