hi guys its priya here
i had sex about 2 yrs ago and i was a virgin but even though it was my first time i did not bleed, my ex and i didnt really care about it because it wasnt such a big deal for us.
now i m getting married and its arranged and my fiance they have a culture where when you bleed they wipe it off with a handkerchief or something and then the groom's mom shows that to some people to prove the bride's virginity now i know i m not a virgin but my hymen didnt break so i m just very confused. am i going to bleed when we have sex or i didnt have hymen at all???
p.s. my ex and i had sex a few times and this one time i did bleed but that week i had my period and the day that we had intercourse was the last day so i thought that maybe my period wasnt over but was that my hymen that broke??
please help me here i m going to go crazy and i cant tell my fiance the truth because if my family finds out they are going to break all ties with me
i had sex about 2 yrs ago and i was a virgin but even though it was my first time i did not bleed, my ex and i didnt really care about it because it wasnt such a big deal for us.
now i m getting married and its arranged and my fiance they have a culture where when you bleed they wipe it off with a handkerchief or something and then the groom's mom shows that to some people to prove the bride's virginity now i know i m not a virgin but my hymen didnt break so i m just very confused. am i going to bleed when we have sex or i didnt have hymen at all???
p.s. my ex and i had sex a few times and this one time i did bleed but that week i had my period and the day that we had intercourse was the last day so i thought that maybe my period wasnt over but was that my hymen that broke??
please help me here i m going to go crazy and i cant tell my fiance the truth because if my family finds out they are going to break all ties with me
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A girl can loose her virginity and not bleed at all. There is no rule that says that there must be blood to know that you took a girls virginity.
I have to just remind you that if you had actual intercourse, which you said you did, a few times after the initial first time, you have no hymen anymore and you are not a virgin, which you already know.
If penetration was easy and smooth the times you had sex then your hymen was broke and you were one of the lucky ones not to feel pain.
I felt no pain at all my first time and i did not bleed either.
So, as far as this custom thing you speak of, what happens if there is no blood on your wedding nite?
Does your new husband wipe you with a hanky or is mom in law in the bedroom with you?
I am not trying to be funny here, i am really interested. What country does your future husband hail from?
Who gets to see this proof of virginity?
I don't know, if your in laws are expecting to see something on your wedding nite, i mean a bloody hanky, you might want to sit your future husband down and have a heart to heart with him. Virginity is very sacred in some cultures and a man will not marry unless he finds himself a virgin.
But remember, all virgins do not bleed the first time, i don't know if he will understand that, but it's true. Why start out a future with a lie, especially when you have the mom in law always in the back ground someplace,
that would scare me for sure. Eeekkk o.O
I have to just remind you that if you had actual intercourse, which you said you did, a few times after the initial first time, you have no hymen anymore and you are not a virgin, which you already know.
If penetration was easy and smooth the times you had sex then your hymen was broke and you were one of the lucky ones not to feel pain.
I felt no pain at all my first time and i did not bleed either.
So, as far as this custom thing you speak of, what happens if there is no blood on your wedding nite?
Does your new husband wipe you with a hanky or is mom in law in the bedroom with you?
I am not trying to be funny here, i am really interested. What country does your future husband hail from?
Who gets to see this proof of virginity?
I don't know, if your in laws are expecting to see something on your wedding nite, i mean a bloody hanky, you might want to sit your future husband down and have a heart to heart with him. Virginity is very sacred in some cultures and a man will not marry unless he finds himself a virgin.
But remember, all virgins do not bleed the first time, i don't know if he will understand that, but it's true. Why start out a future with a lie, especially when you have the mom in law always in the back ground someplace,
that would scare me for sure. Eeekkk o.O
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bbfeet9 has given you some great advice.
I don't pretend to understand the cultural implications, but there would appear to be a simple solution to satisfy the tradition...
Wait until your period begins... or, when you or your husband nicks yourself shaving... get a hankerchief... dip it or wipe it in the blood...and then keep it until the wedding night. Poof...you have the "proof!"
Of course, this also depends upon you having had that heart-to-heart conversation with your husband before hand. If he loves you, he'll try to understand, and build a life with you.
Good luck.
Let us know what you decide to do.
I don't pretend to understand the cultural implications, but there would appear to be a simple solution to satisfy the tradition...
Wait until your period begins... or, when you or your husband nicks yourself shaving... get a hankerchief... dip it or wipe it in the blood...and then keep it until the wedding night. Poof...you have the "proof!"
Of course, this also depends upon you having had that heart-to-heart conversation with your husband before hand. If he loves you, he'll try to understand, and build a life with you.
Good luck.
Let us know what you decide to do.
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thanks guys, there is going to be just me and my husband in the room and i have told him that i used tampons thats why i might not bleed and he says he is fine but he finds it hard to believe. he is trying very hard and the thing is that i want him to trust me fully but he is not able to do that and he feels sorry for that, thats why i want to somehow bleed so that my husband thinks that it was real as well that way he will trust me fully
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Girl,
You've already got trust issues going with this man...
I would hope that if you've told him you use tampons, and he understands what this means, that the issue is over with.
But the underlying issues of trust and openness, and deception or lying, could spell real problems later on. That's what this is really all about for you two, isn't it?
(Like your explanation, by the way. It's nobody's business whether you bleed or are/were a virgin, in my book. But I don't matter here. ;-) )
You've already got trust issues going with this man...
I would hope that if you've told him you use tampons, and he understands what this means, that the issue is over with.
But the underlying issues of trust and openness, and deception or lying, could spell real problems later on. That's what this is really all about for you two, isn't it?
(Like your explanation, by the way. It's nobody's business whether you bleed or are/were a virgin, in my book. But I don't matter here. ;-) )
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