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I'm 17, and three weeks ago, my boyfriend fingered me heavily, it was sore and he did it quite a lot for the whole day.
When I returned home, I had fair amount of blood in my pants. Then recently he fingered me again and it felt more comfortable and there was no blood. I've seen him quite a lot this week and each time he did it, it felt more and more comfortable.
However my mum was talking to me this week and she said she hoped I wouldn't have sex with my boyfriend and said if I had to, I should use contraception. But she said, for our religion it is best not to have sex and that girls should be proud of their virginity and that their husbands will know if they are a virgin as there will be blood on first time sex. I don't plan to have sex before I get married!
I haven't bled after the first time I've been fingered (apart from my periods) but has my boyfriend I broken my hymen? Will I bleed again when I have sex? Is the blood coming from the broken hymen?

Please help!


It is possible that it could have been torn in this way, as you said it was "heavily" perhaps indicating vigorous movement or multiple fingers.
Although because it was fingers and not an erect penis, I doubt the hymen was completely torn, there could be further bleeding when you loose your virginity also.

Personally, I dislike this rule of "blood on the wedding night", because not all women bleed when they loose their virginity!!! It's just an assumption, if you marry an intelligent man he should know this. I never bled when I lost mine, because every woman's hymen is different, just like her eye colour or the size of her nose, some women's hymens are very thin and fragile and bleed when they loose their virginity, other women's hymens are more resiliant and just don't! some women are even born without a hymen!!! It's just a fold of skin. you should marry a man who loves and trusts your word.

so NO, you CAN'T tell if a woman is a virgin if they bleed! Not even a trained doctor can tell conclusively if a woman is a virgin or not by studying the hymen all the time!

these sites may help you out: I advise you read them!