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A few nights ago i experience unsettling abdominal cramps. After defecating, my anus was severely red in color, and extremely sore. I examined my feces only to find a hard, white object protruding from it. I examined this object further and noticed it was filled with coarse red hair. Me, being a brunette, found this extremely odd.

Please help!

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That's strange. You should talk to your doctor about this, seriously. I've never heard of such thing. I looked on the internet and I only find that this can occur in dogs %-) Have you been eating anything unusual lately?
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Not really, April. My diet consists of mostly of crubeens, breaded in a mud/avocado mixture. Pigs feet is one of the most nutritious meets for your body, and mud and avocado are the perfect mixture of a natural, fat free must, and total fat for the healthiest body. And at unlimited supply. It's been getting progressively worse and I do not currently have health insurance; I am in between jobs.
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Hope you already have an answer. But look up gastroparesis and bezoars. What you found sounds like a bezoar. Gastroparesis is a condition caused by nerve damage to stomach muscles most commonly a complication from diabetes. The bezoar consist of undigested food masses and can be very dangerous.
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