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My mom is 81 and basically bedridden. We just found out she has diabetis but is way underwieght and needs to gain not lose I need ideas as all this is scary to me right now

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Her doctor probably has a lot of ideas but if you want to help out lets see...when my father-in-law was underweight because of his cancer, the doctor had him try to drink meal shakes. Don't know if your mother is having issues with food just not looking or tasting good to her like he had. We had to try several different meal shakes before we found a brand and flavor he liked.
We also cooked anything he thought sounded good, anything we thought would tempt him. There were odd things that really tasted good to him, sometimes something would suddenly just not appeal. He liked chicken noodle soup so we fed him a lot of that. If you know what she liked to eat for comfort food, try that.
My grandmother went though a period of not eating as well, she wasn't underweight but got ill due to poor diet because she has a real sweet tooth and it was easier to eat sweets than try to cook for herself. She loved a broccoli soup a certain restaurant made so we'd sneak it in to her at the nursing home. The nurses really knew, but I think she liked it twice as much because we'd make a big production of sneaking it in in a brown bag, posting guard, closing door, etc. haha! Sometimes it is more the mind than the stomach. Know you don't want to give her too much sweets especially with the diabetes, but might arrange to sneak her an occasional treat when it is under control, too.
She may also just miss company. My grandmother always ate better with company. Mind you, she wasn't bedridden, so we used to jail break her out of the home for trips to local restaurants. Although you can't do that, maybe you could arrange to eat a meal with her weekly.
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