i'm 16, female... etc...
i'm scared sh~~~~ss of my parents, not even kidding about that. its not like i cant look at them or anything, i mean i cant talk to them about anything emotional. if i come close, i feel my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth and i have to lie and get away, and i usually end up crying about it... i'm so scared of disobeying them, in something like sex drugs alcohol, grades, not having enough friends, not being organized, and especially not being successful. my mom's thing is that without money i wont be happy, my dad says i should do something in life that makes me happy, and the money is an extra bonus.
When my mom raises her hand i cringe sometimes, i dont know why tho. she's never hit me or anything, i dont see why she would now after 16 years... when i was 13 was the first time i slept without a nightlight, and without my bedroom door being cracked. it was also the first year that i was brave enough to stay home alone with my brother (he's younger)
i've never been very good in school, maybe because of my ADD (i've been on medications for nine years), i repeated 6th grade, and this year is the best i've ever done in school (10th grade) but i think its because i got prioritization for classes, and i'm in a slower history class (although i'm in the hardest math class available). whenever i used to get a bad grade i would lock myself in my bedroom for 6 hours on the weekend as my personal "punishment" so that i would get so bored i would study and do homework.
overall, my mom is the one i'm mostly scared of...
i've literally been living in fear of everything my mom disaproves of, like makes my knees tremble fear, and when i do something i know she disaproves of i end up punishing myself out of fear of her. i punish myself so that i can tell her that i already learned from the experience without her help. she's never abused me or anything (so far as i know o.0) and when she gets really really mad is the only time she's verbally abused me, but thats like only a few times in my life...
what can i do to stop feeling so... scared =[
i'm scared sh~~~~ss of my parents, not even kidding about that. its not like i cant look at them or anything, i mean i cant talk to them about anything emotional. if i come close, i feel my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth and i have to lie and get away, and i usually end up crying about it... i'm so scared of disobeying them, in something like sex drugs alcohol, grades, not having enough friends, not being organized, and especially not being successful. my mom's thing is that without money i wont be happy, my dad says i should do something in life that makes me happy, and the money is an extra bonus.
When my mom raises her hand i cringe sometimes, i dont know why tho. she's never hit me or anything, i dont see why she would now after 16 years... when i was 13 was the first time i slept without a nightlight, and without my bedroom door being cracked. it was also the first year that i was brave enough to stay home alone with my brother (he's younger)
i've never been very good in school, maybe because of my ADD (i've been on medications for nine years), i repeated 6th grade, and this year is the best i've ever done in school (10th grade) but i think its because i got prioritization for classes, and i'm in a slower history class (although i'm in the hardest math class available). whenever i used to get a bad grade i would lock myself in my bedroom for 6 hours on the weekend as my personal "punishment" so that i would get so bored i would study and do homework.
overall, my mom is the one i'm mostly scared of...
i've literally been living in fear of everything my mom disaproves of, like makes my knees tremble fear, and when i do something i know she disaproves of i end up punishing myself out of fear of her. i punish myself so that i can tell her that i already learned from the experience without her help. she's never abused me or anything (so far as i know o.0) and when she gets really really mad is the only time she's verbally abused me, but thats like only a few times in my life...
what can i do to stop feeling so... scared =[
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Honestly i understand totallly how you feel Im 16 too and and you pretty much describe me in what you say i guess you can we are the same and really everything you do i do too and i would say that its ok to be scared the way i do it is jus fight threw it whatever is happening and when she walks away jus let all out and it seems to have worked lol but i want you understand that i fell the same way you do and its ok plus im a dude so dont feel bad
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