Okay so I was on this site a few years ago and some of the people were really helpful. Since then I've been through a lot in my life and now I'm going through a hard time and need some advice again. It all started when I dated this girl. (I'm bisexual). We had been friends since we were very young, we had been best friends. After going through years of ups and downs but always together we decided to be together. It was a big step but one we were both willing to take. Over the years we had come to understand each other better including both of our mental illnesses. I have had extreme depression and anxiety all my life and she was diagnosed as bipolar, her mom was diagnosed with bipolar as well. After a few months of dating and complete bliss I moved in, I was just turning 17 and I had no desire to be with my parents due to a bad childhood. Her mother took me in and loved me as my own and my gf and I grew closer than ever. Our lives began to meld together and we were happy. That was two years ago. I spent those years helping her through everything. She tried to go to college and went through many jobs but her mental disorder always got in her way. We would call them episodes or "freak outs". She would get extremely angry and take it out on me. I would cry and we would fight but over time I researched bipolar and figured out what to do. Whenever she il would start to get like that I would take it slow and talk her through it. After every freak out when her emotions were back to normal she would always say that she loves me and she didn't mean the horrible things she said she was just defending herself even knowing it was crazy. So I would forgive her and then help her and then do it over and over. She went to the doctor and got meds but her bipolar makes her forgetful sometimes even on purpose so they aren't fully working always. And about a week ago she had another freak out only this was enormous. She shut down I watched it in her eyes. She wouldn't look at me or do anything but say she don't wanna be with me. She gave me vague excuses that only half made sense only we talk about the problems all the time and I always make sure she gets better. This time she's so far gone I don't know how to get through to her. It's been lasting so long and she's just holding onto it. She won't let her mom bring me back home and she won't talk to me at all she said she is moving on. The things she's saying now aren't foriegn to me, she's said them before without meaning it. It's just lasting so long and that terrifies me. I Just want her back so if you guys could give me any advice it'd be much appreciated because I love her and want her back if do anything for her