Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Hello everyone, 

I've been suffering, for 6-8 months with this illness. I'm 19, male and straight. I have read a lot of HOCD problems here and over the internet, and got a lot of comfort knowing that I wasn't alone so I would like to share my experience with this illness and how I started to move forward. 

Ever since I first got a simple thought of "I'm gay", I knew that I wasn't - I think people are attractive, but romantically and physically I have and always will be attracted to women. The thought of me with a male simply makes me uncomfortable. So, if YOU say you are gay, than YOU are gay, BUT, if YOU say YOU ARE STRAIGHT than you are STRAIGHT - full stop. No one is forcing you to be gay, there isn't a secret self inside you that is just going to break loose and f**k other guys, there just isn't, it's just you, it's your life and you make the decisions and the choices.  

  First off, let's go to the basic's - your thoughts are like birds flying over your head, it's your choice whether or not, you want to let it make a nest in your hair. (this was one of the first quotes I read that helped me through the early stages - this mental health condition is absolutely crazy, but what doesn't kill you - only makes you stronger.) 

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that you are not your thoughts, that is your ego - either your positive ego or your negative ego, both have their own different fantasy's of itself. There are many different reasons why you're ego could have turned negative - I know mine. For me, I gave me thinking powers to my ego. If we were to look at the mind as a company. The ego's role is simply to act as the mail man. It's role is to deliver the content of the present moment or whatever really, and your job is to deal with the context (doing your own thinking instead of letting the brain handle your life.. if you kinda get what i mean?). I did this by smoking a sh*t ton of weed daily for about 2 years - I just let my ego do my thinking... that's like giving the mailman of the company the role of the CEO... it just doesn't work and after sometime, the ego starts to resent you hence turning negative. I don't know if HOCD is the cause of this, but in my case, I'm sure of it. I believe my mind needed to wake me up in some way and what better than to start making me believe that I was gay, it's a fear that I have confronted and learnt a lot in the process.  

Meditation - I started meditating and started to practice the art of simply witnessing my thoughts. I started and am still in the process off withdrawing myself from my thoughts. The idea is to CREATE space within your mind and the only way to do that is through living in the presence. As a thought arises that you do not wish to associate yourself, all you have to do is... NOT ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH IT. It's simply a thought, let the thought go, let it come and go. Keep your focus on things you love and people you love, each thought carries energy and once we LET OURSELVES indulge in a thought, it carries forward and 5 minutes later you start questioning your live and what you stand for and so fourth. The idea is to let the thought be, don't give it attention and let it just be. 

ONCE WE START QUESTIONING IT... WE ARE TELLING THE MIND THAT OUR SEXUALITY IS UP FOR DEBATE. You know you are not gay, I know you are not gay (if you are saying you aren't gay) and I know I am not gay.. yet the mind is so f*****g weird, but the more we understand how it works, the better we are in dealing with it... both GOOD and BAD. That's life. Just laugh at yourself because it's quite funny once you analyze. 

PS. I have nothing against homosexuals, you see, they don't have a choice. I BELIEVE that if there is a choice, then something is wrong and that's exactly what HOCD is. It's your mind basically debating your sexuality. 

Loading...

I read the first of your writting. You again, think that if you are gay, you want to have anal sex.Which is not true,. Check out yahoo groups on goyz. Secondley, I spent 12 yrs in school and never heard of anyone with anytype of ocd. Stop eating foods with additives, no fast food,sodas and energy drinks. All these chemical, steroids,& Hormones in proccessed food is not something your body needs to function. To go from no kids with ocd problems to everyone taking a med that is supposed to help your problem, something is causing it, or you are being programed to believe that any thing,is a condition, and a condition needs meds. Fibromyalga, a painfull condition, they are not sure what causes it or exactly how to treat it. A woman in floridachanged her diet.when she shopped, she read every label, She eliminated any thing that had aspetame as an ingredient. With in a few monthe her condition went away. And she says she has an immediate reaction when she eats something with aspertame in it.If it's on a label,and I don't know what it is for,or why it was added to the product, I'm sure not going to eat it. When you consider that the fda has an exceptable amount of rodent hair to be present in peanut butter. An exceptable limit above 0 is what i'm putting in my body. Eat frozen veggies, they come out of the field and flash frozen, and little if anyting is added. This is off topic, but every post someone comes up with an ocd problem their dealing with. Control what you eat and cut out preservatives and hormones. Girls are starting to enter puberty at 10 yrs old, when normal age is 13. This is wide spread, not one persons problem.Think before you are ocd!

Reply

Loading...

This is unfortunate that you seem to think you have it all covered. Unless you have had it and or dealing with it, who are you to say that this all about diet! To respond to a post like this... Have you ever even suffered from it!? I will tell you right now this is the worst down right worse fucken curse you could ever have someone suffer from. Your talking to a girl here dealing with this worst kind of debilitating thing that you can't control and I have done it all including reading for endless amounts about diet change, supplementation, organics. I have cut out all allergens, milk, eggs, gluten, sugar. Ate vegan for a while but couldn't go any longer and needed protein, other types of proteins didn't work. Green teas, detoxes, sauna, juicing, tonics, diatomaceous earth, parasite cleanse, systematic yeast cleanse. Amalgam fillings removed and replaced. And guess what... Guess what... No improvement! All that damn money down the drain! So don't tell me that it's all about diet, or what someone is trying is not good enough, unless you come up with some other genius idea other then diet! Then you don't know what you are talking about!

Reply

Loading...

Give me ur fb
Reply

Loading...

is there any way i could contact you? our situations are literally identical. please?
Reply

Loading...