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Im a mother of 3, going through a divorce. My husband left me over a year ago while i was pregnant for another woman. It damn near killed me and ive been going down ever since. Ive wanted to move out of state for a while. My mother, ex and his mom have said that i am a bad mom. My ex has been saying it for years even though i did everything for my kids. Ive finally given up. Im taking oldest daughter and leaving. My spirit is broken. Im starting to believe that my kids are better off without me. My ex even says his new girlfriend is a better mom to my kids. Im not perfect and i haven't been the easiest to deal with. Im not myself. I don't want to deal with my ex anymore so im leaving my kids. I know they will miss me and be mad but im lost right now. I dont want to ever come back. I know some will judge and make me a devil, nothing i haven't already heard. Im just tired...anyone ever felt this way?

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Please do not give up . u still have a bright future. you kids need you more than u can think of.u made a mistake of sleeping with another man but it had happened and nothing can change that, now is to take those pieces and move on. Kids are frustrated and they need their mom. Pliz, pliz dont leave you kids and go away, and know that you are not solving anything by running away rather than solving your problem. to have kids its a gift from God, most of us are trying for that and yourself u have that precious moment of being called a mom and u want to give up. NO NO. when you are there with them is okay, your ex girlfriend wil brain wash you kids and telling them that you are a bad mom, just stand boldly for you kids just for the sake of their happiness. dont think of anything else or ur hapiness just  think for the sake pf you kids  
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Im not sure if this was meant for me, but i didnt cheat. And this response doesnt quite go with my post. Thank you anyway...
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Umm, did you read the post correctly? Thank you for your response anyway...
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Situations like that are always very difficult.
But let me tell you what happen to me.
My mom left us. Just like that. Everything seemed to be ok and one day she was just gone. She had left a note saying that she needed some time for her self. Shortly after that my parents got divorced. I really hated my mom back then. I never wanted to see her again.
Now, the relationship between me and my mom is pretty good and I love her but I still can't forgive her for what she did.

I guess it is just depending on the situation. If you talk to your kids and family and explain you need some rest, they should support you. There is nothing wrong with taking a time out. Especially in a difficult situation like that.

I hope you can find the right way!
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I'm not sure what brought me to your post today, but here I am.  There is no way for me to know the totality of your situation; only what you tell us.

But, I can tell you that I am 62 and have been running away from things all my life it seems.  As I've gotten older, what I have found is that it never works. 

I like KathaK's response, because looking back on things now, what I simply needed was a break to get away, recharge, think about my situation(s), and come up with a more adult plan for myself, and then in a mature manner express myself to the person(s) who might have contributed to my distress or to a person who could have helped me work through it.  Perhaps that's what you need, i.e., just time to find a quiet place to think.  It might be too late for me now, but it is not too late for you.

It is CRITICAL for your children to know that you are not leaving them.  They need to know that you are still mom, no matter what your relationship is with their dad.   No matter how crazy things seem right now, they do need you in their lives.

And, one more thing that I have learned after a years worth of psychological counseling:  what others think of you is unimportant!  All you can do is go through this life the best you can.  Be kind.  Be loving.  Be hopeful for yourself, your family, and your friends.  But, you cannot please everyone, so just be yourself and don't let others define you.

I am one of those people who pray.  And I have just said a prayer for you.  Now...take a deep breath...let it out slowly...and then think how you are going to take that break without leaving the children.  Talk to them so they understand fully that you are not leaving them and that you are merely taking a "vacation" or however you want to explain it, considering their ages.

One other oddity that I have found in life is that April has ALWAYS been a "problem" month.  Why that is, I have no idea.  But, I do know that when April comes around that I just shift into low gear and be aware that life is ultra-stressful in my life; perhaps it is in your life.  Take no action until April is over.  I know it sounds a little "out there," but this is through decades of observation.

You don't know me, but I hope you carefully consider what I am saying.  I'll be thinking about you today and in the days that follow and hoping for the best.  And, remember what I said:  don't let others define you.  Be yourself and be kind and loving above all else, no matter what others do to you.


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As a mother you have to make sacrifises.......for your kids not yourself. You have to be strong for you kids, and prove to everybody you CAN do this and you are a good mom. I'm sure it can be stressfull to lose your partner at a time you were pregnant, but you have to be strong for those kids. Your kids is your priority. You sacrifise your happiness and even future relationships to make sure your kids have what they need...and that includes having you. They want understand what your doing cause everybodyelse will simply look at that as selfish. Live for your kids, and then work on you if you can in the process. Woman have survived on their own for decades, show your children you are strong and can be there for them.
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Well I would not suggest " Leaving the Kid's " I would suggest you " Take a long vacation " and think things out you just need some time alone to think thing's out. I'm praying for you, your kid's need you whether you know it or not. Hold On This Too Shall Pass :)
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I have felt like you with contemplating giving up custody of my child because I didn't want to deal with my ex. I just recently started to put my plan of moving out of state with my 3 girls into action; only to have my ex's try to impede me from doing so with making false allegations of abuse, etc. I also took my oldest with me, and they both currently have temporary custody of the younger children. This ONLY happened becauase they waited until I went out of town for a short 2 day trip to file ex-parte hearings; in which I couldn't attend because I was out of the state on the trip. I still continued with my plans and moved out of state (without the two younger ones) because I know that this was the best thing for me and my children and will prove to be better for their lives and development (slower pace, better schools, lower cost of living, etc) but I do have custody hearings next week. Needless to say during this month that I have been serparted from my children and the siblings have been separated from eachother...they have created parental alienation which is hurts me, but ultimately hurting my girls the most. My youngest has always been really clingy to me; but now during the 2 times that I have talked to her in the last month, she doesn't have much to say to me and is really distant. I can only imagine what poison my ex's and their families are putting in my children's head about me.

DON'T EVER LISTEN TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY ABOUT HOW YOU ARE AS A MOTHER!! Just reading your post, you sound like you really love your children, but you have allowed these toxic people make you doubt yourself and your situation has created MAJOR depression.

Don't make a long term decision to a temporary problem. Those are your children and as you identified, they will miss you, be hurt, and not fully understand why you may have made the decision you have. Feelings of abandonment can hinder a child throughout their whole life, into adulthood. This leads to dysfunction in their relationships with others. I say this with personal experience.

You need strength right now to get through this devistation. I know it sounds so cliche, but try praying....It helped me! I didn't know how I was going to pay to get back to LA from TX to go to court for these custody hearings, where I was going to stay, how I was going to get around, but after praying.... "things fell into place" and money literally came out of nowhere and was unexpected. DEVINE INTERVENTION : )

I look at my children as "my life" because I gave life to them and brought them into this world taking care of myself and them while they were in the womb. A mother's bond and love begins when the child is in the womb; which is different than a man's love for his child....I don't care what anybody says!

I don't know you....but I believe in YOU! Just know that you are not alone in all this. These are toxiyc bad people in your life and you just need to stay focused on you and your 3 children. It may take time, but eventually they will get tired or have to be help accountable for what they are subjecting you to. At the end of the day....men are not trying to suddenly become the FULL TIME parents just because; they do it to try to hurt the mother the ONE way they know how.....by using the children as pawns! If you were such a bad mother, your children who have been removed from you A LONG TIME AGO! But you obviously aren't! No matter how you feel now....please just trust and believe that you will get past this.

Wish me luck with my custody battles next week. I would die for my children, so I am ready to kick butt and take names until the very end!!!
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"Nobody can hurt me without my permission"-Mahatma Gandhi

*** Never allow anyone to victimize you!!!! Stay strong : )
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I am young in Middle school. and lets just say that you were my mom. even though I would be a little upset at the end of the day I would love you soo much! Plz Plz plzz!! dont give up on your beautiful children! Running away is not a good idea police might be looking for you. PLZ DO THIS FOR YOUR CHIDREN!!!! :D keep me updated!!
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Thank you all for your kind words. I spoke with my middle child and she does miss me...a lot. Ive been praying and soul searching, trusting in God and believing in His word. I know i made the best decision. My ex immediately attempted to make me believe my daughter had nothing but bad feelings towards me. Not true. I do love my children. In a sense I ran, but in reality it has helped me to renew my faith in God and myself. I made a huge sacrifice to move here but i know now, not in vain. Thanks again!!!
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I will not judge you nor call you the devil. I do understand how it feels to be totally defeated and want to give up, pack up and run. I was so depressed a few years ago, overwhelmed by been a father , husband and feeling i just could not cut it. I could not be what the family wanted me to be and i just wanted to either kill myself or run away and abandon them. But i didn't. I hung in there, sought help and i stayed. Things have got better, i still struggle daily with anxiety issues and on and off depressive episodes, but i pull through it, therapy and some medication also helped.I am not saying if you feel you just need to leave that you should not, but i will encourage you to get some help and later on when you start to feeling better to make sure you keep in contact with your kids and do not totally disappear from their lives as this would cause serious damage to their lives and emotional development. Do not make the decision to leave be permanent, make sure you reconnect with them once you get help and are better. I know this feeling, i still struggle a lot just trying to be a good dad, husband and family man, especially with a wife that does not respect me or think i am worth anything beside a bill payer. Years of frustration from an unemotional spouse who does what she wants without regard for my feelings what so ever, but i work through it and keep hoping things will get better with each passing day and they have. I feel you, hang in there, get help and don't give up.
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