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I have had sex about 12 to 13 times now. I'm 15 and I can't seem to ever get an orgasm when I have sex with my boyfriend. What should I do? Cos I really want to get one. It isn't like the sex isn't good cos he's amazing but still I can't get an orgasm please help

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get him to go far as long as he can and rub an ice cube fast and hard over your clit. maybe even put one up your bum if you feel adventiours. my mrs loves it

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Hi Guest,

Your not having orgasms because your not fully relaxed with him yet. It took me ages to relax with my fiance when we first started seeing each other, just give it some time, try not to force it because it wont happen. 

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just relax and try masturbating so you know what you like and what gives you pleasure

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The problem you are describing is very common but there is a misconception.  Thanks to our media and culture, it is assumed that penetrative sex is all that is needed for a woman to orgasm.  In all actually, it is estimated that up to 70% are unable to achieve an orgasm solely by penetrative sex.  The vast majority require stimulating their clitoris, whether external or internal.  Given time and experience, you may be able to learn how to orgasm without more stimulation, but there is plenty that can be done now.

Either one of you could massage your clitoris during sex which may bring you over the edge.  Perhaps the most effective method is for him to give you oral sex while also masturbating you. Any method requires you to guide him by giving feedback on what is feeling good and what isn't, this is even true if he is going down on you.  If you are already familiar with your body can you walk him through it by teaching him how you like your clitoris massaged, what technique works best and at what speed.  If you are not very familiar with your own sexuality then it is best for you to learn.  You can't expect him to know what works best if you don't tell him, and you can't tell him if you don't know it yourself.

It takes longer and requires more stimulation to fully arouse a female in comparison to a male.  The more aroused you are the more likely you are to have an orgasm.  Some research on your sexual biology can help you achieve this greater level of arousal.  You might try these search terms: clitoris, clitoral "legs", gspot, urethral sponge, and female prostrate.  There are more of course, but those are the ones from the top of my head.  A really good video providing a quick overview can be found by searching using these terms: youtube the internal clitoris.  The youtube video is titled "The Internal Clitoris".  It will probably be the first link.

The clitoris is like an iceberg, most of it is below the surface.  It is much bigger than it appears.  It is made of erectile tissue that engorges with blood when aroused, similar to the penis.  When fully aroused, the clitoris is more than twice as large as when you started.  The legs of the clitoris and other parts are enlarged enough when fully aroused that it is much easier to stimulate the clitoris from within the vagina and anus.  It is at this point you have the best chance of being able to cum through penile penetration.

These are some things you can think about at least.  Just try not to get hung up only penetrative orgasms.

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