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I am in my second year of college and I hate it. I never wanted to go in the first place but my parents made it impossible not to so here I am. I know I need a college degree to get a good job but college stresses me out so much. I really cannot deal with it anymore. I don't even know what I want to do for a profession. I am so miserable every day of my life knowing I have more and more schooling ahead of me. I only maybe want to take one or two classes but I don't know how I'll tell my parents. The only reason I am full time is because it's the only way I can keep using my health insurance. I've been trying to find a full time job that I could get decent benefits with but it's hard. I'm so confused about everything and I feel like no matter what decision I make I will be unhappy with it.


I appreciate why your parents have tried so forcefully to have you obtain the advantages of a college education, but that doesn't mean it is right for you personally, nor that it is wrong. Indeed the biggest issue you raise is that you concistently ascribe to outside forces your reasons and motivations for what you are doing.

You are, presumably, over 18 yrs of age.

At 14, children led armies, at puberty you became as far as nature is concerned, an adult.

This isn't criticism, this is observation: somehow you have neglected to learn, or be taught, that life ultimately is your decision.

Not just the big things, but in fact the little things, dealing with which gives you experience in dealing with the big things.

Look at all the little things: clothes, possessions, hobbies, friends, even the subjects you took, music you play, everything.

Make a note, mentally or for real as to who decided, really, what was cool, hip, good looking, important, the best, whatever?

Be honest: notice where you make decisions in life. Notice where you're in control.

Because at age 18, no one else is in control of your life.

So start to realise that you could not have survived to age 18+ without being incredibly successful in at least some regard: you learned life well enough to play by the rules, and seem normal enough, so you're smart enough and capable enough to operate within society, and now you're confronting the issue that you don't seem to be living your life, you're living someone else's life.

When you truly acknowledge why and how your parents did their utmost for you, you will also appreciate that no matter how much a dressmaker may dress the bride, an acting coach train an actor or sports(wo)man, an instructor train a pilot, there will and must come a time when the girl becomes the woman and walks down the aisle, the actor takes the stage, the jock (fem? jick?) goes out on the field, or the pilot goes solo.

Before you make big decisions about your future, like jumping out of airplanes, it's as well to make sure you first have a parachute.

Notice where you're in control of your life, and notice what you genuinely do and do not choose, and where you're simply playing along.

Hint: if you're bored, you're not choosing, if you're choosing, you're not bored.

What you enjoy, what you're passionate about, what is fun, even for a moment, is a start or window to life: bored by everything but masturbating? Well, porn stars start somewhere. Serious suggestion? Not really... but there is never no door to go through, only a lack of enthusiasm for the doors you can perceive.

Your big issue is: you don't get life, so life doesn't get you (participating).

Hint: we none of us 'got' life at that age... we played along assuming it would work out - and sooner or later found out it either did or didn't, and that our friends had made very different life choices. I've made choices I wouldn't wish on anybody, but enjoyed a life of experience I wouldn't lose for anything.

Life's waiting for you to fill up your personal scrapbook: go to it, start small, take control and notice where you take control, and soon we might hope you'll reconcile yourself to a future you can believe in.

Good luck.