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Hi,
I'm 24 years old and about 6 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I am waiting until my first doctor's appointment to tell my family, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I am in school now, but my husband and i decided to try to have a baby because I have severe endometrious, and it was possible that I was infertile or would have to undergo a hysterectomy. We didn't expet to get pregnant the first month we tired, but we're very excited. I will have to put school on hold, but I am okay with that because having a family is my dream.

My mother-in-law lives about 10 minutes away, and my husband wants to tell her before my parents (they live out of state). My mother-in-law really doesn't like me (my husband doesn't see her hurtful, critical behavior as dislike). We are going to my parents for Easter, and I would like to tell my parents first. I know they will be excited and that they want grandchildren. I don't believe my mother-in-law will be excited about our news. She is always telling us how to live our lives, and in her eyes we don't do anything right. He ignores it, but she can be very manipulative and cruel.

I want to tell everyone in person, but no one, in either of our families, can keep a secret. If I tell my family first, my mother-in-law could hear it through the grapevine (she is in contact with one of my family members). Despite our differences, I don't believe it is right to have her find out this way. We could tell my mother-in-law first, then rush to my parents house and hope she didn't call my family (I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, and she is the type to be malicious and would spill the beans out of spite). I don't think it's right for her to find out first, especially since I know it means more to my Mom. If my Mom finds out that my mother-in-law heard first she will be crushed, but my husband doesn't think it's right for my parents to know 2-3 days before his. I want to be fair to him, this is OUR news, but it's my body that is changing. I know that I will receive love and support from my family, and I will need that if my mother-in-law decides that we need a lecture that, despite the fact we bought a home, my husband has a great job (and he just got a raise), and that we have a great marriage, we're not ready for kids. After the hurtful things she has done in the past I don't know if I can handle that from her and remain civil.

I also know that my Mom will take one look at me, see that even though I don't have a big baby bump yet, my body is definitely changing, and know. I considered just taking a picture of the ultrasound and text it to everybody all at once, but that could be considered impersonal. I don't want to hurt anyone. I do love my parents and my in-laws and I want it to be special for them, as well as for my husband and I. I don't know how to be fair. I want my husband to be happy, and I want it to be fair, but I don't see how it's fair to tell his family first. And the only time we can get people together in the same place is Mother's Day, but that's too far away for us because we have family members who are ill, and we want to share the news with them as soon as possible.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :-D

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First of all Congrats!!!!!! Secondly its not like you 15 or 17 or 18 having a kid, your a grown women! :) and married. If your mother in law doesnt like it then too bad for her! sweetie you should be so happy, this child is a blessing! and if she cant see that and shes going to cause you stress during your pregnancy which can also cause issues then she doesnt deserve to be in this childs life. You and your family deserve the life. You dont want your kid to look back and go my mom and grandmother fought all the time cause my dads mom didnt like my mom. She has to realize that you are the parents, that your both grown adults who want a family. Your not a child and she needs boundaries. Its not for her to say how you and your husband live your life. You guys want a family and thats your divine right to be able to have it. And if she lectures you tell her to shove it! cause honestly she seems like the issue, and like she is going to cause issues in the future. 

AS for your family sit them all down together. Email, text,call or facebook them and saw i have a announcement can we all meet at this persons house that this time. Then tell them. 

The main point is its your life. Dont let her ruin it or cause issues in your marriage. A lot of people have issues with their in laws but if it effects your marriage or your pregnancy and hte health of your unborn child. Dont risk it. Tell her its your life , you deserve better
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