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im not sure how to do this but anything is worth a try... I have been with my husband for 19 years married 3,we have 4 teen age kids now.. he is an alcoholic drinks from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed, i have asked him to go get help to stop drinking and he tells me no. I told him he was hurting our family, he said no he isnt and that i am, today i had to leave work early because i had a real bad argument with him and i burnt my arm real bad at work,, when i was coming home i notice he was hanging out with homeless people and he was their all day and most of the night buying them beer and cigarettes.but he will not help me with the bills.. or even with the kids..i work 6 days a week and getting ready to go to 7 days a well and 4 of those 7 will be working 11 and 13 hour shifts..... he started to get physical with my daughter pushing her throwing her drink in her face screaming in her face nose touching nose she doesnt want to be here when he is here... our two oldest boys has to get in between us when we are fighting.,,,, because like always he provokes me and tries to get me to hit him but i dont i only push him away.. but he wants to be nose to nose with me.. spiting on my face as he screams at me... he says im cheating on him because we have a sexless marriage because of him being drunk all the time,when we did have sex he would hurt me very bad to where i cant have sex for at least a weak.... all because of the alcohol make him not feel any thing... I told him he needs to get out and leave peacefully so i can take care of our kids he says no and if i was to try to get him out that he would come back here and burn our rental home down while we r in it.... i want to get an eviction and a restraining order/ and need to file for a divorce i cant afford to do all of this when im the only one working with 4 kids all together ,,and one son is disabled with heart problem's....my husband works but he works for a friend and he gets paid cash under the table....he tells me go ahead try to get money from me, you wont be able to and he laugh's in my face like it's all a joke,,... what to do... please help

:'( :'( :'( :$ ?

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Oh so simple. Bye bye. Not so simple to execute. Check out Julia Roberts, Sleeping With The Enemy.

He knows your a wimp and not going to do anything - as long as he's right, he wins.

There are no victims, only people willing to tolerate an enormous amount because it's easier than the alternative.

It's also more painful.

You're smart enough and rational enough to be able to write a long post.

There are 8 billion people on the planet, and approximately 7,999,998 of them are nicer than he is.

Alcoholism is his problem not yours.

Your problem is to plan your escape - frankly, why hang around and let him harass you, when you can get in a car, on a train, and leave.

'I can't' Of course not. That's why it's easier to post than to take action.

Harsh? Simple truth: leave, don't leave, but acknowledge that you are in charge of your life. As long as you think he is, he wins.

If all you did was put the kids in the car, drove 1000 miles, and stopped when you ran out of cash, money, hope and energy, you'd still be better off than where you are. Is that a recommendation: strictly, no: it's an observation - I'm not going to replace a sh*t with a saviour... you don't need one. What you do need is to remember that if you've got this far in life, it's down to your incredible strength and ability to operate in life.

Check out the film: find your strength, use it.

Hint: if you can write, you can read; if you can read, and afford one book, go to a bookstore, avoid therapy like the plage, and read a book that tells you who you are: discover your strength, your soul, your power: hell, read it in the store - which book - that's for you to choose - it's time you started trusting yourself to know the answer, and trusting that you have the strength to deal with this situation.

If you have a job, then at least one other person on the planet thinks you have value: if one does, probably many do, but you can't meet them until you give the universe a chance to send them your way.

Your life. Your call.

Hint: every answer going through your head as to what you can't do is trying to keep you safe, safely miserable, because that's still safer than being 'out' there, out free, free in your own home, free in a home of your own: wherever.

When you acknowledge that you, no one else, you are in charge of your life, you can begin to take responisibility for your life, and then take actions to support a life you choose. Walk, don't walk; plan, don't plan; there are an infinite number of choices available to you. Right now, how many of them are seriously worse: if you want the situation to be conveniently resolved, it won't be: that's what he's counting on, making life extremely inconvenient. You're going to have to figure out how to not be inconvenienced by him any more.
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Oops - missed three zeros on my 8 billion minus two - you get the picture. Most of humanity is nicer than that: trust it, and yourself.
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