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We been together for a long time an only had a few minor problems before she went off to school I proposed to her cause we both wanted a commitment she has had her ups an down an to failed pregnancy but we were always there for each other. Then she just ends it says she doesn't love me any more after telling me she couldnt be with out me. I'm confused an I love her an want to be with her but how do I know if it's her or me doing something.


Welcome to life. If school is, I presume, US university, so she's 18, then you've barely even got your feet wet in relationships.

Sounds tough, and like I'm not sympathising, but it really is just life: at that age, new experiences and growth mentally and physically, not to mention the huge novelty of college, mean that I'd be more astonished at a couple trying to bind the knot before college, than the break up.

Hint: there's very roughly three ages of relationships, it's just a story, but it might help: just as there are roughly three ages of experience in life all round: where you've been, where you're going and where you're at. In relationships, teen and early twenties, they are the most fraught, intense, fascinating, and fondly remembered because basically in their novelty everything gets magnfied to be a much bigger deal than it is; in lat twenties and thirties, adults know how the world works, and pretty much handle everything with a moderate degree of cool; by their forties and fifties, experience has turned to disillusion, and adults are settled in their rut and personality.

You can break the mould, but right now your experience is pretty par for the course. Check out Hitch, and his college girl: that's just about it. You can let her go gracefully or you can let her go and get upset, but she is gone. Now, I hope you've got your aftershave, cologne, tux, and Aston Martin, because here's the bad news, that leaves only approximately 1,420,289,204 women of roughly your age for you to go through finding the one.

Most of us don't get past five, ten, or at a pinch twenty, and far less than that 'significan't relationships.

Yours is different, I know, I know, I know. So was mine, massively, my parents so didn't understand how I was fully entitled to rip this guy off his super-sexy miss GB chick, after he paid to take her on a luxury holiday. On the other hand, my parents were there for me in a big way, quietly but courteously, with a beautiful girl I met at college. Big mistake not staying with her. Big. Huge.

It's just life.