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Hi in my German set there is this girl I am really into, but I don't knw whether the feeling is mutual. How can you tell? And also, I don't have the most confidence in the world, so how do I like get her number? :S

Thanks :-)


girls are just as nevous believe mee hahaa and im extremely shy as well dont be shy cuz girls love confident guys and does ur har beat fast or something weellll w.e. just go ask beforee its too latte


Well, number as in telephone number, or what she's really thinking?

Either way, let's back off and start with the basics: does she know you exist?

Have you had a conversation?

Have you found areas of mutual interest?

Check out '10 Things I Hate About You' for a rather charming portrayal of the dilemma.

Ditto Twilight, for how not to chat up girls, and no, you don't need to be a vampire to score (or an English heartthrob).

Astonishingly, most girls really do value conversation and caring more than looks: you just might have to wait a while to find the right girl for you.

Dream about cheerleaders all you want, but pay attention to who pays attention to you.

Woody Allen, Danny De Vito, Hollywood is full of stars that have personality, rather than looks (Sorry Danny, much he might care).

Being able and willing to have a conversation is a large part of that. As you get more confident in conversation, and find yourself paying more attention to the conversation, and her thoughts, than getting into her pants, you will have mastered the art of relationships - well, a fair and important bit of it.

And hint: being into a girl is about the last thing that is an indicator of the right girl for you, especially if she doesn't know you exist. If it was, stalkers would be hot, as it is, they're not. Help life put interesting people in your way, by finding people interesting. It doesn't have to be as artificial as '10 Things', but in a way, that's what it's like: paying attention, finding common ground.

If she can't bear to talk to you, she isn't going to bare anything else.

If she enjoys your company, finds your conversation appealing, god forbid you have a sense of humour and make her smile, you may be surprised by how important that is to her.

Forget German girl, not because she's wrong, but because she's not relevant, at the moment: start practicing human conversation.

Don't bother with clever, stick to basics: watch Hitch, quite funny and again quite accurate - putting girls off is far more destructive of your chances than being clever to turn them on: doesn't work. IQ can be attractive, but only when it shines naturally in conversation. For now make low Q work (English, UK, pun - Queue = line). When you're in a line, pay attention to who's nearby. Don't expect to score, just look for an opportunity to open your mouth for reasons other than exchanging feet: if she's got a book in her hands, ask: 'Good book'?

If she wants to talk, she will, if she gives you the drop-down-and-die-nerd look, welcome to adult life. There are a million guys willing to date and get into a girl's pants, but she's looking for the one that will give her the house, baby, mansion, dream, make her feel a million dollars, etc. Right now, the odds are against you: as you get older, they even up, and by the time you're 70, they're all in your favour.

Long time to wait though.