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I am 21 and my boyfriend is 32, we met in a club in lonely times of our live he had just gotten a divorce about 2 years earlier and I was a single mother. We had sex on our first date  it was exciting because i had never been with a guy so soon and this was the second guy I had been with but It felt like he was desperate for sex since he was so quick about it  but i always trusted him in some weird way and it was good sex so good that I was always thinking about  having sex with him and wanted him all the time. Before him i had a horrible sex life it was boring and never satisfied me enough and after i had my baby i did not want sex from that person but i did want sex i just controlled myself from sleeping around.I have always been interested in sexual arousal  since i started noticing my body but i never wanted to just sleep with a bunch of immature guys i always wanted older men and they were never interested because i been told i look so young even my boyfriend now doubted me when we met i was 19 and he did not believe me at first he thought i was way younger and he was 30. With all that said we obviously had alot of great sex at first but i started realizing i was always the one to initiate it he would rarely start and was never wild about it like i was in the kitchen , car, bathroom anywhere you can think of i wanted it,i moved in with him really fast he fell inlvove with being a father to my baby boy and i fell in love with him and so did he i know because i felt it so it seemed he was not the type to cheat i am now doubting that. we have been together now 1 yr and four months we have a two month old and he proposed to me not to far back. We are happy i mean i am happy with everything except my sex life we are what you would call a picture perfect happy family but in bed not so perfect he never goes down on me unless i ask which i hate to do so i choose not to i did not notice at first how i always went down and he never did and when he has he complains that his neck hurt( wtf type of excuse is that) my hurts to buddy but i still do it. Also ever since i started to notice that i always start i started to hold myself back and see if he gets desperate enough to start and he does after maybe 2 weeks which throws me off because here i am desperate and turned on and it takes him two weeks and when we do it hes really lazy at first and makes me do all the work i do not complain because i am not into cheating so i take it whenever it comes which makes me feel soo low and ugly and toward the end its always the same routine he gets into to it because he is about to finish and does not care if i finish or not i feel like i have to rush myself so be satisfied so if i do not finish  and i tell him to see if that would motivate him to satisfiy me like i do to him if i finish and he hasnt he does not even react and just goes to sleep. and we only do it at night  mabye 2 times in a week if i get lucky and now that my 3 yr old is at old we have all morning to ourselfs but all he dose is wake up and watch tv he also rarely hleps around the house or the kids only if i ask he does it with out complaing but he always asks where is this or that or how to do it it drives me crazy and i am concerned something is not right he is either cheating i do not know how he makes time for it although he does work in a hospital and i have heard crazy stories about employees with patients or employees with employees and alot have come from my boyfriend himself!!! he tells me he loves me all the time and will put on an act that he is into me sometimes and when i get mad i feel like he knows exactly what to say to make my problems seem unimprotant i have talk to him about our sex life before  so i feel like if i have to keep nagging about it he will completely be turned off by me but im literly in pain here i am not controlling and opened minded and he knows that  and he also knows that he seems to be the only person that turns me on and i just wish we could get crazy sometimes  and be into sex . what do i do and what are the possible reasons why he is acting like this ???? I am not a conceited person but i do not feel like i am bad looking i am in pretty good shape for having two kids and he is a goodlooking guy and he loves that fact that i am younger. so what is the problem??????

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I think the two of you need to sit down and talk about this.  Just take out time to sit down and voice your concerns.  

Be sure that both of you give the other ample time to speak.  Use I statements, such as "I think" and "I feel."  DO NOT use you statements like "you always" or "you never."  If you talk about how you feel, the other person will feel less defensive and hurt.

When your boyfriend is speaking, listen to him.  Let him know you're listening by acknowledging what he's saying.

After both of you have spoken, see if you can come to a compromise.  You may not get everything you want, but he might not either.
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Every long terms sexual relationship has a kick start, an increasing high momentum leading to a plateau phase and then it innevitably experiences a decline to a more stable or routine level. It is possible that you have overworked your expectations from such a relationship - for instance, should you be feeling secure or insecure, loved or unloved based on your sexual life? Don't listen to magazines and people, if a relationship is to survive it has to move from passionate (infatuation, constantly thinking of the other) to what social-psychologists call "compassionate" love (i.e. friendship, companionship). If you entered a sexual relationship instantly (i.e. on the same night you met him) it may be that you have woven your whole "love story" based on the physical aspect of it without having let the romance blossomed to maturity first; so while you may still be belating-mongering he may have already dropped down from plateau to compassionate level. The logic behind this is that given the fact that he does cooperate when you ask him to do things and does managed to soothe you by telling you "the right thing to calm you down" indicate that he does still have some kind of socio-psychic connection to you nonetheless.

Don't worry about him doesn't know where things are and stuffs like that; if you had had enough time to know him first you would have had the opportunity of recognising these flaws beforehand and it would probably not have changed a thing - tell most women the way their prospective fiancés live isn't conduisive to a healthy household and they still go ahead to embrace these men preferring to think: "he isn't like that!" For your part it is not an exaggeration to say that most men are like that. Again you wouldn't want him to be an obsessive perfectionist or "control freak" either you are making an attribution of his lack of such behaviours to his "lack of interests in you" as perceived by you, very much in the same way many women feel insecure when they feel their men aren't as jealous as they would wish them to be even though we men are socialised everyday to believe that a control freak is abusive and pathetic!

As for the sex, there may be a variety of explanations to explain it, some of which have already been hinted from above. But then again we cannot possibly solve such a complex issue here, especially since we don't even have his point of view - to be objective. How far would you be willing to go with this man now that you are about to marry and already have a baby with him? Would you mind masturbating as long as everything else is fine? Would you be willing to revise your kinky threshold levels? It is not so much the lack of sex that is bothering you most, but rather the quality of the sex itself it seems. Unfortunately we don't have his side of the story and this is quite complex. Could it be stress at his work? Could he be depressed? Is he taking any medication? Could it be a logistics issue - perhaps morning session would be better? Who can tell...?

Or is it deeper than a sex issue?  Sometimes men are indecisive about commitment but somehow got dragged into one. Lead by their pennis' needs, a man would say anything a woman wants and needs to hear and suddenly he wakes up in a situation he doesn't even know how he got himself into. I wouldn't fear about a mistress if I were you. It takes a lot out of the other woman to uproot a man away from a loving wife no matter how old the wife is but especially if she's younger and beautiful.

I would suggest among other things that you two take some time off. Go on hollidays or something and make it about the two of you [leave the babies at grandmas']. Don't make it about sex - if it happens fine, if not fine. Make it about rediscovering yourself and him. Find and discover new things that you like and that he likes. Find things you would like doing together or visiting together other than sex.

I can only wish you good luck. Hope you find your way.

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Im 13 years old and i think im a sex addict but i cant cum...when i finger my self
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uh...wtf are you doing here? 13? are you f*****g kidding me. go play with a BARBIE or something. sex addict ? you must have been dropped on your head. smh.
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Truth is he may just be old. You seem like you are young and full of nerves and really just need lots of serious sex to feel secure. As people get older they're less like that, sex becomes less 4th of July and more Thanksgiving. Just talk to him, you can work it out as long as you are honest and take care of each others needs, but he needs to know what yours are before he can take care of them.
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32 is old? I'm 36 and I'm begging for sex to my wife every night, and she always say no naturally, i want to say something about your boyfriend he is a very lucky bastard and he doesn't know that..
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