Hi , well i don't know exactly what the right words are to say,and thats because I have never had anyone in my life that has ever cared about me, so to the people that want to try understand my reasoning or why i am the way iam , then I will have to start from the beginning, i stared my life with problems nobody in Australia can even tell me were i was even born i don't even know my real parents name's, and afer surching for yrs iam still no were any closer i was left at a hospital door step in Sydney blacktown Australia, but fighting for my life, the drs fixed me up then the 1st time even though they new that my real parents had tried to murder me and I was only a week old but it was the 80s and so when they came back for me i was easily hand straight back to the people who just put me there, then only day's later i was left at a different hospital door in black town  (Sydney ) this time the drs tried patching me up again and again days/ a week or so later my parents came  back for me but the drs this tim were not so forgiving you see at this point while they were trying to do the right thing for me by calling the police ect i started having massive sizers and that right then became the life i now still have to live !! I had my first brain tumor and my birth parents took off and never came back i have had 4 brain tumors and suffer from major eplipsy but it does not end there, i was past from foster home to foster home and finally i was adopted by a young couple, they all ready had 1adopted boy and now me but this was just the beginning at aage 7 my adopted farther went to jail, he was in every papper every tv show he was a murdera he was a monster ! Most people see these Italians as one word maffai !! For me still it was just the beginning, my mother re married to my best friends dad David, we'll his sexal abuse started when I was 8an a half and went for 3yrs when I told my mother she told me to stop lying! ! So he tried to gas me in his car . He died and I lived !! But ever since then my mother has had me so medicated that every time I try to live my life she calls a nother hospital and has me doped back up again  , 4years ago i finally feel in love,  unfortunately we wer in a massive car accident and we spent over a yr in hospital together,  it took me a long time to wake up and when I did i woke up with my legs crushed so my mother had told the dr not to amputate instead i was given metal rods in both legs and they also said that they didn't know if I was ever going to walk ever again, when eddy and myself went home it was so hard we had lot of help but i hated it i hated myself,  but it still was not over . One morning i woke up only to find eddy dead in bed next to me. And a yr later im still asking myself why the f**k me ,either god jas a sick sence of humor or i truly am cursed, ?? So when i read the stories on ur websit why do people kill themselves  i seriously hope u all read this about me and answer this why have i not ? I have no family or anyone anymore but here iam !!!