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Hey I'm a 23 year old women. I have an almost 2 year old. recently i just found out i was pregnant i was happy and thought my boyfriend would be happy too. and too my surprise he just said i should abort it. I didnt want to have another baby that the dad wouldnt be part of the kids life. so i ended up aborting it. i was okay until the day after i had the abortion and i feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life. I feel like suck a horrible person. everytime i try to talk to him about it he doesnt want to talk about it and he said we just have to move past it and take it one day at a time. so i have no one to talk to about this.


Hi there

It is indeed stressful for a woman who has undergone an abortion. Sometimes these feeling of guilt and depression can be overpowering - I will list some below, though they may not apply entirely to your case -

Below are the symptoms that describe post-abortion syndrome: Guilt – A mother’s heart is genetically designed to “protect their child at all costs.” Abortion short-circuits that basic human instinct. That can lead to feelings of guilt. A common guilty reaction after abortion could be that the individuals believes future bad events happen because they “deserve it” for making this choice.

Anxiety (i.e., anxiety attacks). Many individuals state that after their abortion they started feeling tense and could not relax. Some outline physical reactions like dizziness, pounding heart, upset stomach, headaches. They may worry about the future, struggle to concentrate and not be able to sleep. It is often difficult to understand the source of anxiety.

Avoiding Children or Pregnant Women – It is common for post-abortive people to avoid children, especially pregnant women or children that would have been around the age of their aborted child. This avoidance can include: skipping baby showers, avoiding the baby aisle at the grocery store, walking around the block to avoid a playground, or making excuses to escape events that include children or pregnant women.

Feeling “Numb” – To avoid painful thoughts after abortion, many work to shut off their emotions. That could mean abandoning friendships and family, particularly if they remind them of the abortion experience. When someone shuts down emotionally, they don’t feel sorrow or joy. Many turn to drugs or alcohol to assist in numbing these memories that result in guilt or anxiety.

Depression. Everyone is sad once in a while. After abortion, gloomy feelings can make the person feel hopeless and unlovable. They may cry uncontrollably for no reason and/or feel like they are going crazy. Perhaps they can’t eat or sleep. Others eat too much and sleep all day. The things they used to enjoy are avoided.

Thoughts of Suicide – Some post-abortive people get so sad that they think it would be easier to die than continue living. Others miss their lost child so much that they want to join them to hold them at last.

Try analyzing your actions and that of your partner over this event. There are several factors that influence having a child, one of them is having enough resources - as in financial stability. So, understanding root causes will help a lot. Good luck