Hi everyone,

I decided to post after reading some topics here, which helped me, just knowing that others are experiencing the same thing I am. I guess I just need to talk to people who've been through the same procedure and get some perspective. I've been having a lot of emotional problems ever since my abortion, which I had two months ago. It wasn't because of any physical reason, my partner and I just weren't ready for a child. My problem is not regret, because for me, this was definitely the right decision, of that I have no doubt. However, ever since then, I've been feeling a lot of fear and anxiety about not only sex, but intimacy. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years, and it has always been amazing, very few problems. But since the abortion, I've noticed that I can't barely tolerating kissing him, or anything more than hugging, and any overtures of sex fill me with guilt. Not guilt that I had the abortion, but that having sex or anything close to it so soon would be like I was saying what happened wasn't important, just jumping back into that behavior.

It's been causing problems in the relationship, not with my partner, he's perfectly understanding and demands nothing, but with me. As I feel like if I don't engage in intimacy, I'm denying him something that he enjoys, which causes guilt, but if I do engage, I feel the same guilt. Like I'm just ignoring what happened.

Another major problem is irrational and overwhelming anxiety. Logically, I know that kissing and touching can in no way shape or form cause pregnancy. But still, about two weeks before my period, I'm filled with anxiety that I won't get it, that the pregnancy may come back, that the abortion didn't really work. All these things are irrational, but they still fill my head, and I can only think of the negative. It's been causing problems with my life, as I'm not working as well, my relationships are fraying, and my quality of life is a lot lower.

The reason I'm posting this is to talk to people who actually know what it's like, so I don't feel so alone in all of this. So, if you've managed to read through all of my problems, I thank you.