So I have had supposedly anxiety all my life and panic attacks.. When i was in elementry i couldn't smell or see food without gagging or feeling really sick, always in nurse room. And i would get panic attacks as well.. I knew kinda when i was little that i felt werid in my head.. I went thru every kind of anxiety systomp i think. I had the i cant breath and the tingleing hands and gums.. went to doc and they gave me inhaler. I thought i had cancer, aids, everything.. Then i went into the ugly thoughts the what if i do something phyco and that was a stage and i would panic cause i was scared of what i thought my mind was thinking.. And the scary part is you see all these women and men that are mentally ill and do so crazy horrific sutff and you start dwelling on that. So anyway got over all the i thougt i had serious ill ness. I went to a mental doc and said i had anxiety i thinnk and tried to give me zolfot. My main thing is i cant except i have issues so i didnt take them and then did ok and lived normal for a while normal thoughts. Got married at 21 had my 2 boys and was very happy i would get panic attacks sometimes when i would drink and the hang over.. But then i would snap out of it.. I quit drinking and still normal went camping, worked, shopping, ate and loved to cook, cleaned my home, normal thougts and feelings. I loved the holidays i was into the cookies decorations, halloween. So the end of may me and my husband got into one of our huge fights over nothing and i took all my stuff out and then anyways i ended coming back and i thougt ok my marriage we have always fought i  am going to try and so i moved back and that weekend i thought i going to go out with him and try to be happy and anyway thats when it all started i had a panic attack and now for 2 months i stoped working i eat very little i in a like werid panic all day for 2 months.. i am so scared of pills i scared of the next day, i scared of everything i like so bad. My mom cant stand me crying no more and should go to mental ward i deadly afraid of and i feel like there about to commit me.. I scared cuz i losing weight so much 110 pounds and i just in seriouly non stop frantic..Like i lost it all and causeing so much problems.. i cant go, i cant i have kids.. i love them ..why why why