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This was the story which I posted on here a couple of weeks ago. Since this posting I decided I want to try and move on so I sent him an email to give him his stuff back. Didn't say anything else besides what I had an what he would like me to do with the stuff. No I miss you, No I still love you, nothing about what happened, it was just straight to the point about the stuff. That was over a week ago, I know he has been online and I have yet to hear a reply. Just wondering if anyone could make sense of this?? Here's the basis of what happened.

I was dating a guy for about six months now, things became serious between us probably two months into it. Everything seemed so great with our relationship. We had so much in common, had so much fun together, and got a long great. He has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and takes medication for it. He has been taking medication since he was in his late teens. He's now 27. Initially when we started getting together he said he was not ready for a relationship so things briefly stopped for a bit. He then came to me and told me he wanted to make things work between us and that he is just going to have to get over his fear of relationships. We fell completely in love, did so many fun things together, and began to grow stronger as a couple. He would tell me how happy I made him, how he loved being around me, and at one point he even told me how he thinks I saved him. This didn't strike me as anything at the time, however looking back on it, it now does. About a month and a half into our relationship, he lost his job, and began stressing about money and his life. Shortly after this he told me he needed space. I gave him his space, he went away with family for a weekend, and when he came back, he seemed back to his normal self where he was always wanting me around, was telling me how much he loved me and how much I meant to him, how excited he was about this relationship, and how I am one of the best people he has ever met and been with. He told me how much he missed me when he was away for the weekend, and how we would have loved to have had me there. He said he couldn't wait to spend time wit me. So things went back to normal, spending time together, being our happy normal selfs and he was always wanting me around. He was constantly telling me how much he loved me and cared about me. Then probably 3-4 weeks later, I noticed he started getting distant again. I brought this to his attention and once again said he needed space to figure out his life, how he is stressed about money and what he is doing. He even said how he thinks he might have bipolar (which one of his family members has been diagnosed with). He said he is just so up and down and can't control it. However during this conversation he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me just needs space to figure out his own issues. Once again I was willing to give this to him. Two days later we had a date night, things were great we had both been busy so we were both excited to see each other. Then probably half way through the night his mood completely changed, would barely look at me, talk to me, and just completely distanced himself from me. After putting up with this complete mood swing for about two hours, I asked him what was wrong. He then proceeded to say that things just aren't write between us, that he loves me so much but just sees me as a friend, tells me I'm perfect in every way, however that he just isn't happy with us anymore. During this time where he proceeded to say these things he did not show one sign of emotion, could not look at me, was on the breakdown of an anxiety attack. I was trying to calm him down, ask him if this is what he really wanted, and was saying how much I hoped this was just the depression talking. He just kept saying he needs to be alone, he can't do this and how I am nothing more than a friend, and that he thought he was in love with me. I am at lost what to do, haven't spoken or heard from him in a week. I feel that if he is suffering from depression and anxiety which he has been diagnosed with, shouldn't the pills which he takes on a regular basis help in his anxiety (which he constantly complains of being anxious) and not have him reach this complete lows. I know he is stressed about not having a job and being in debt however I am so confuse and just need advice what to do. I love this guy so much.

So after a week of not hearing from him, I decided to put my best interest at heart and write him an email to give him his stuff back because I don't want to hold onto any false hope or anything any longer. That was a week ago, and I still have not heard from him. And the stuff I have is pretty valuable, and not easily replaced. Can anyone help me out please.

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if you havent heard from him in a week ,i would just leave it alone.you dont want to harass him if hes not responding to your email.id take his stuff to his place and leave it there.if he wants to talk he knows how to reach you.bi-polar people can be dangerous and very unpredictable.just be safe.
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This is almost exactly what happened to me. My boyfriend even said the identical things. I do think they mean it at the time BUT they cannnot MAINTAIN it since their own inner mental life has so many variables and ups and downs. Please know you are loveable. It is true that a man will love you. Just that this one is not able to. If I would've let go the first time ,I wouldive saaved myself a world of hurt and pain. The closer you gvet into the situation then the more difficult it is to disentangle. Best of everything to you darling girl
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I would leave it alone if you havent heard from him
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im just going trough same now i love my man dearly but i just dont no what to do now all ive done is cry as is it his illness talking or the real them guess will just never no , when things are gud there great but then back down again its hard as its hurt me deeply even though he says he loves me and dosnt no how hes gunna get trough each day ,, he has no children but i do and there wondering where he is ??? i just dont no what to do he nos how much im hurting but ive just left him alone to try to get well x
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I have a boyfriend of two years who has always expressed love, admiration, gentleness and kindness towards me. He and I had huge plans to marry and start a family. We had our disagreements and he would chase me and call me three times a day to make up with me if he sensed I was angry, upset.

He moved to a different part of a country, I had plans to find work there and move there with him after we were married.

I flew there to see him. I noticed something in him, he often became anxious quite easily and it raised his blood pressure significantly, giving him bad headaches.

There were periods in which he would smile kindly and hold me and treat me like a queen. Then, there were periods in which he would seem to sit still, stare into space without an expression on his face, and become very cold, refused to tell me if something was bothering him.

The night before I was going to fly home, I called him up, sensing yet another change in him.

I asked him what was wrong, was he hiding something from me?

He said he didn't want to stress me out. He said ' you want to know the truth? WE DON'T CLICK. WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.'That is the truth.'

When he said the words, my chest tightened and I felt like screaming but I could not. I felt my whole world turn upside down.

'What do you mean??' I asked hysterically.'We have known eachother two years, how are we not clicking and incompatible NOW?'

He said, he had been feeling it for a long time but was hiding it and we had 'nothing in common, NOTHING'...he couldn't even talk to me.

At this point, I could not say a word. My mind reeled. He snorted ' you seem surprised. You MUST have noticed it...didn't you??' He said.

I asked him if he wanted to call it quits and make it a clean break. He hesitated. He asked, why did I want to do that?

Then he said fly back home, just relax and we would 'talk' as we are two adults and then we'd 'finalize it all'.

The next few hours, I could not sleep. The next day, I could not bring myself to eat anything all day. My whole body was cramped, I felt nausea.

I flew back home, feeling sick to my stomach, sad, weak, alone and lost.

I called him when I got home. He broke up with me then. I asked him if we can work things out. He said he 'did not believe so, because it would just drag this on and on and on'.

 

The next morning, he texted me, asking how I am doing. I texted him back that I am doing fine. He texted 'cool'. The same night, he send me an email, outlining reasons why he was leaving me. He said we are two different people from two different worlds and I deserve to be with somebody who will love me unconditionally. He said, he will always remember me and will never regret getting to know me.

The next day, I lost control and almost went crazy. My family was watching me lose it emotionally. I begged them to put an end to my misery. I love this man, and I was losing him, I cannot bear the pain. Just as I was going through this, he texted me again, asking me to 'feel free to call him any time'.

He called me the next day, saying he wanted me to stop thinking of reasons why he broke up with me and it 'just didn't work out'. He said, he could not see a marriage with me working out in the future. We said our goodbyes. Again, he said ' feel free to call me anytime. If you don't want to call then that is your choice'/

Looking back now, I remember his moods would abruptly change from mr. sweet and considerate to irritable, annoyed, critical and cranky. His moods would change every now and then. He often did not remember things he said to me, his memory of events were warped and he got confused when I would point out to him what actually happened because, in his mind, he remembered things differently ( that is, he actually believed events occurred differently in his warped memory. He would believe another person made a specific statement when he, himself, said the sentence to the other person).

He is a very sharp, calculating person. I love him with all my heart and have been going through intense emotional pain since he left me, grief I did not even feel when a parent of mine passed away.

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Wow. This sounds EXACTLY like my husband/ex-husband. We just got married four months ago, we met shortly after he moved to the US last year and fell madly in love. Relationship always had some ups and downs, being that he was undiagnosed bipolar until recently. But it wasn't until he hit a depressive / mixed episode shortly after his 30th bday that was so bad that his whole life fell apart that we split up. I was planning on staying with him through it, I loved/love him deeply and thought we would stay together and get through it with each other. Well, two weeks ago - about 3-4 weeks into the episode, he just broke up with me out of the blue. Using the EXACT words you posted "we aren't compatible" etc. Just a bunch of nonsense. After he left me and I was upset, he turned it around as though I had broken up with HIM and was saying how "heart broken" he was, that he still loves me, but we can't be together, he doesn't ever seeing us be together again. A week prior he was his normal self just depressed, saying I was the love of his life, we would get through it together. Even when you wrote of your ex saying "you can call me anytime" and responding with "cool" this is the same c**p my husband has been pulling since he broke up with me a few weeks ago! Bipolar sucks. I love this man more than anything and I am heart broken that the future we had planned is gone. Even if he comes back, I don't know if I can take him back and trust this won't happen again. This break up almost destroyed me, I know it's going to take me years to love and trust again.
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Thank you ladies for sharing your story, mine is simular in fashion. I have been dating a man which says he has depression, and he and I got along amazing, he was kind, affectionate, and loving then out of the blue he broke up with me. Kisses and hugs me good bye one morning texted me all was fine then another hour later said he was breaking up with me and didn't love me and up until then was making wedding future plans and a life together. I noticed for two weeks he was not sleeping dealing with an ex which was going to be a battle, then said it was me. Like wholy? Used stupid lame excuses too for the break up so what do you all thing about that one?

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