In love with someone I've never met in person and it's destroying me.

Guest over a year ago

A little about me first.
23 year old male (probably not what you were expecting). I also have a history of anxiety problems so that just make's everything worse from the get go.
Anyways. For the past few years I have had somewhat of a "crush" on this girl. Over the past 3 or so month I noticed it was not just a regular crush I was feeling anymore. It was much more profound. Now I know everyone has their own description of what "in love" actually is and how it feels but just from past experience this is stronger than anything I have ever felt.

Now for the part that is destroying me.
The knowledge that I've never even met her in person and I'm feeling this level of commitment to her was terrifying. The knowledge that she doesn't know I exist makes me deeply upset. Knowing the odds of us ever even meeting are almost zero gives me headaches. And within the last month I have started feeling physically ill when I see her on television or hear her songs on the radio or computer. Even seeing pictures of her in magazines or on the internet makes me nauseous knowing I will likely never be with her.

I recently saw her live in concert and the moment she left the stage it hit me that I may never be this close to her again and that really sent me over the edge. I feel like I've been dumped in the worst possible way. I've been on the edge of crying for days (I'm not usually one to cry about things).I have found it nearly impossible to sleep because my mind keeps going over way I could have maybe met her or talked to her or something. I haven't been able to eat anything either. I actually hurt all over my body when I think about having to eventually, for lack of a better term, settle with any girl less than her.

This may not make any sense to anyone, I've never been great at bringing the words in my mind out onto paper. I don't even know if there is a question for me to ask here I just wanted to get it out. Well, thats that I guess. Any feedback would be nice to hear weather it's a similar story or some one who has felt like this and got over it.
Thanks in advance

Loading...

bbfeet964662 over a year ago

I will cut to the chase here, you need some professional help. I am not trying to be rude or insensitive but your post make's me a tad nervous. I will not mention name's but there have been several instances where a crush has turned into a tradgedy. Men who have secret crushes on a movir star or a performer have taken something innocent and turned it into a complete nightmare. You are letting this control you and it is really starting to take you over, totally.

Many of us can get "star struck" but that is as far as it should go. Many of us have fantasies of our favorite actor or our favorite singer, that is as far asit should go as well. Letting this take over your life to the point where you can barely function is a serious problem. I sort of shudderd when i read your post, especially the part where you say that because she doesn't know you even exist really upset's you, deeply. I hope this doesn't happen but do you feel compelled to try to see her or make contact with her somehow?

You seriously need to see a therapist. I am not trying to be a smart ass either, but you should seek counseling as soon as possible. You have allowed this person to take you over and that is a serious issue.

Reply

Loading...

Guest over a year ago

"I hope this doesn't happen but do you feel compelled to try to see her or make contact with her somehow?"

In the past I always thought it would be nice to meet her and get a picture or autograph or something, but now the last thing I want is to meet her in person. I feel like it would just make things much worse.

Also I don't know if it's the fact that she doesn't know I exist is what's so upsetting to me or if a better way to word it would be the fact that what I feel will never be reciprocated. The single most painful experience in my past was when I fell for my best friend and she told me she could never love me in return. I haven't spoken to her in nearly 5 years.

That may make it sound even worse. I don't know.

Reply

Loading...