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Hello there everyone,

I was hoping that some of you might help me out. Maybe someone who is suffering from depression or someone who is or was dating someone who is or was suffering from depression.

Here's the thing. I'm dating this girl and I really like her. It was really nice in the beginning, she told me that she is suffering from depression but I didn't notice it in the beginning. Now we have been dating for 2 months and it started to get bad, she keeps having black thoughts all of the time, she is always negative and I'm thinking about breaking up with her but I still like her a lot.

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Hey Guest,

There is no particular way in order to remain in a relationship with someone suffering from depression. It gets to be really hard to understand these people because they can't really understand themselves either, their suffering is irrational and without any cause.

I think that the best thing you can do is to talk to someone who can tell you what exactly depression does to you and how you feel when you are depressed. This means that it would be best for you to talk to someone who had depression at some point of his or her life, they can help you see things from her perspective.

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These things can be really hard, Guest. I'll correct myself, these things are always hard. My wife spent some time of her life suffering from depression. It happened after about one year since we started going out. It was damn hard, I'll give you that. But I already made peace with the fact that she is and will be the love of my life no matter what so I just stood by her. It actually meant a lot to her and the doctor later said that if it wasn't for me, it would have taken ages for her to get out of this condition.

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Hi there,

Thank you very much for your replies, it really means a lot to me.

I am going to try and talk to someone who was already suffering from depression Gaia, I will really try to see things from her perspective, I think that you are right, this might really help me understand her better.

I really hope that you can give me more info on how you managed to stay with your girlfriend back then, EatingBoss. What did you do for her, how did you react to the things that she would say when she was depressed, this would mean a lot to me.
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First of all, when you think that she is treating you in a really bad way and maybe telling you some bad things, you need to understand that it is not her talking, it is her depression and she actually doesn't play a big role there, it is all this depression's fault. When you don't take things that she says or does too personally, it gets really easy to help her and to be there for her. Just don't pay attention to the bad stuff that she does, she is eventually going to become mad because you are not paying attention about the bad stuff and it will help her feel better.

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Hey there.

It is really hard to give you a proper answer to this question. Actually, I believe that it is impossible. I have been in the relationship with depressed guy and I could deal with it for couple of months - four or five I think, and when I wanted to help him, he started to refuse me and to push me away from him. These things are really, really hard and unfortunately decision is only yours - you need to know what to do about this and is there any way to help him or not. I hope that you will be able to help him...

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Being in the relationship with depressed person was something that changed my life completely. I accepted her the way she was - nice, kind and occasionally depressed but I didn't mind about it. I liked her and I loved her and I wanted to stay by her side. But I think so that she was not into this at all. She was depressed all the time and when I wanted to take her to some good trip that is going to relax her, she refused. I've been patient with her, but she didn't want to be with me. Because she was depressed. We broke up and I can tell that I am still sorry about this even if I do know that it is not my fault.

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I am not really smart to tell you what is the best thing that you can do in this case. It is hard to tell someone because no one can tell you what to do. You need to sit down and think about it, think do you want to remain with that person? Because, if you do you need to be prepared that you will need to change certain things in your life. Being in the relationship with person who is constantly depressed is very hard. That person's habits, changes in behavior are something that so little people can deal with. If you really love that person, try to help her or at least, try to understand her.

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Hi. I think that it is very important to support person who is in depression. Especially if this is your partner. But remember that this is a massive challenge. I still struggle with depression occasionally and sometimes I can't deal with myself at all. So that is why I do know how hard this is. But the good news are that this is not hopeless. You should know that depression can be because of the stress in the relationship. It also can be worse than this of course. For example, money troubles or disagreeing about something with you can cause that depression. 

 

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Yes, I agree with you. But when your are depressed, you know that everything feels worse than it is. Some days are so bad and you don't want to get up from your bed at all. So, when someone is depressed and that person is in relationship, I am sure that he or she won't like to go to dates, or having sex or having any kind of conversation. When you see that your partner lost interest for you, that doesn't have to mean that she doesn't like you anymore. I know that this can hurt but you need to be patient if you want to remain in the relationship. Good luck.

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