hi,

This might sound weird but its true in my case. I had a crush on this girl during my school days.. I wasn't the shy-guy type of a person.. still it took me 3yrs before I could summon enough courage to talk to her. I realized she was (and still is) in a relationship with another guy.. I never forced her to break up with him or anything.. we became best of friends and still are.. she used to discuss her relationship problems (or any other for that matter) with me.. and I used to take care of that.. It did hurt a lot at times.. but I managed to keep things coverd until last year.. when I actually parted my ways and created some distance.. nothing rough happened she understood me.. and well I was suffocating in that' kind of' situation. We still are in very strong contact (but she never mentions or discuss about her boyfriend now.)

The thing is during this period (and still continuing) I had several proposals from girls around me.. few were direct with love letters and valentine cards.. but on confrontations I can only say that 'there are a lot of better guys around.. I ll find one for you!'.. I screwed over my best-friend (who was apparently in love with me!) and we are not even on talking terms now.. last year I faced severe depression phases.. I feared the crowd for no reason at all and I had no muscular response at times.. I then had to cut off from everything that was affecting my life ( that had my crush on the top of the list).

Right now, I am almost back to normal.. yet I can't go for another relation.. everytime I try.. there is this guilt feeling in me.. that I am not true to her ( I know she was never mine!)

 

PS: I have done strings of li'l things( for eg: wrote about 22 poems for/about her and made her sketch) that keeps me attached to her..  ryt now I m completely avoiding it..

suggest me what should I do.. to get out of it.. ( I can't leave her! I tried and I failed.. )