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Hi I am so confused I have been with my boyfriend for 4years, I have three children with my exhusband, I will make a long story short, He had a drinking problem or I should say I think he still has a drinking problem and in our four year relationship he has kicked me in my head one time another time hit me in the face open fisted threw me out of the car cops were called on him that night and he went to jail. after that he changed alot but slowly i noticed he started drinking on weekends but never really overdoing it and not acting out of control. This past Sunday he wass drinking at home with friend watching football well he was drinking alot, I had said to him I think you should stop you drank enough, he said he would but he didn't I went to bed and my 15yr old and 12yr old son were upstairs in their room, He went in their room and was cursing and claiming the house is his and belittling my son, I went upstairs and told him to get out of the room he was giving me a hard time until finally did. I got close in his face and said stop it why are you doing this ? he hit me again except this time my kids seen it and I called the cops. He had to leave and has been staying at a friends. Tonight I am meeting in a public place and want to tell him its over I am so hurt and confused because He really had a bond with my children and I knew he really cares for them unfortunalty he has an ugly side to him. I KNOW I SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM BUT I AM AFRAID AND CONFUSED


Hi Bestrong,

Of course you're afraid and confused, it's normal.  You know your boyfriend and don't want to be alone, but...

NO ONE should ever hit or hurt you in any way.  That this has happened in the past confirms that he has a problem.  Whether it is a drinking problem or anger issue it is HIS problem.

You've called the police at least twice.  Was he arrested?  If so you dropped the charges - mistake.  At the very least make sure that the court ORDERS him to get some help.

Until he has completed treatment DO NOT take him back.  He'll probably say anything to come back and then stop going to therapy and once again someone IYOU or YOUR KIDS) is going to get hurt.

If he cares about you or the kids he'll seek treatment.

This IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  It is HIS PROBLEM, not yours.