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Hi everybody! I have a 1 year old boy and a 4 year old girl and I have recently gone through a divorce. The children were assigned to me and he can see them only on weekends. He and I are not in good relations and we communicate only about the things that concern our children. Recently he has asked me to allow him to spend more time with children during the week. I don’t know if I should do it. Talking to my parents and friends and reading about the father role in the development of child’s personality I came to realize that kids whose fathers are present in their childhood are more likely to grow up to be successful and self-assured individuals. It has to do with the security that a father figure installs in their every-day life. What do you think about how important spending time with the father is for a child? Is it true that kids would be more secure if dads take care of them?

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I was also interested in this issue and I’ve also read a lot on that subject. Many studies show that active father’s role in child’s early childhood is crucial for its proper mental and physical development. There is no substitute for the devoted love that only father can provide for your children. He will not only make them feel more secure but he well, indeed, make them more secure in knowing that he will be there for them whenever they feel endangered. It will directly contribute to their better performance in school, they will be less likely to turn to crime and delinquency, and they will be less prone to emotional and other behavioral problems. You should therefore feel happy that your children have a father that wants to be a big part of their life, regardless of the issues that you two might have. Put your differences aside for the welfare of your children.
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I totally agree! I would just like to add that I’ve recently read a study that shows just how important the fathers are for their children. In few simple words: children with fathers are less likely to be poor, less likely to fall, to suffer a burn or be scared of an accident, to have asthma or affective disorder or become obese, to use drugs or commit a crime… Yet they are more likely to be healthy, good students and citizens. It seems to me that dads have a huge role in making their kids secure. Do you agree?
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Coming from the child of divorced parents - thank god my parents got along because I know alot of my friends parents who did not. I am a totally more successful and well-rounded individual because my parents set aside their differences and knew what their main priority was - their children. When parents put their kids in the middle of their disputes and make the kids choose - it puts more strain and anxiety on the kids than you know. Take a step back and think about the bigger picture - when your kids are 25 they will thank you until the ends of the earth for you letting their father in their life. I hope you take my advice :-)
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