I've had it with this stupid weightloss problem

I'm going to my nearest and local Walgreen's and stocking up on ALL the diuretics that they have in the pharm department. Then , I'm gonna take these water pills and very gradually increase my intake of them until my body is completely gotten rid of my excess baggage: My abdominal area-always distended following normal meals, My turkey underarms, my chest area, and my side love handels, where I can definately pinch about 3 inches. Then, after my clothes all fit me again, I will go out a purchase a very nice scale that will always agree with my desired weight numbers on the lovely scale. Like The Wicked Queen in Snow White.....

I gonna keep working out at the gym as many x a week as possible, and I'm definately going to stock up on Lean Cuisine, and Healthy Choice dinner meals.

If that ALL still doesn't work I am beginning plan C and I'm going to go on a Hunger Strike until my Dr gives me a more powerful weightloss med that will really work for my very slow metabolism. And I'll take as many water pills a day as necessary to rid my self of feeling way too bloated.

If that still doesn't work then I'm gonnna exercise more, and try to sleep better at night, to increase my metabolism.

Finally, if I still don't lose weight I'm gonna visit my OB-Gyn and see whether I have giant polyps growing inside of my body that need to be removed, for they must certainly be the size of huge watermelons, if I still can't lose any weight after all those weight loss plans.

Then when I finally do lose the weight , i'm gonna reward myself by going outlet shopping, and get my toes done too. And mabey even a back massage and a facial waxing.

Finally, if nothing else works, I'm gonna get a job as a dental assistant, and I'm gonna wire my entire mouth shut so I can't possibly ever overeat ever again.

Sincerely,

Jane's on a Mission