I took abortion pills last month but it did not work for me. So I opted to proceed to another way of aborting the child.

I contacted a person who performs this kind of process and to be honest, its a  bit too pricey but I still went at it just to get through this process. So I went there last Friday and they inserted catheter. On the next day, later afternoon, I felt extreme pain and feeling that constant flow of fluid which appears to be my amniotic fluid. They performed the abortion, constantly massaging my stomach while I was pushing it out. It went on for 3 bloody hours until it finally came out. But there came a slight problem since it seemed that the placenta did not come out so I waited for another 3 hours until I regained my strength. With the assistance of this "person", it finally came out after the constant massaging and pulling.

Now, I'm experiencing blood flow which can be likened to menstruation. I just can't take the picture of seeing the baby going out of my body and the burst of blood that splattered in my own hands and feet. It still gives me chills thinking about it and it hurts me a lot to think that I had to do all of that for my own personal reasons.I know morally speaking that abortion is condemned and I also know the consequences I must face after what I have done. But I have my own reasons for doing so which I know most of you won't understand. It doesn't mean I went through the process that I can sleep at night soundly without even thinking of what I've done. I've experienced so much trauma and that experience, I can consider it as a near-to-death-experience.

 

I just feel so lonely, sad and confused right now.