hi there so heres the story. My inner labia are much, much bigger than my outer labia. I used to be extremely self conscious about this, almost to the point where I just wanted to cut it off myself. I had finally learned to love it and my body. To be honest I don't understand why boys and some men find it so disgusting. I've known this guy for over a year and we were great friends. We began going out and he told me he loved me and that he would be fine just spending time with me without getting physical. He also knew that I was a virgin. After constantly telling me he loved me I was fooled into believing it. I decided to have sex with him, numerous times, and a little while later he takes me aside to tell me that he is "too busy" to be in a relationship right now..(pure BS BTW). So we break up and me obviously being a little upset, not because he didn't want to be with me because I was feeling the same way and was thinking of ending it myself, but over the fact that he couldn't even tell me the real reason he didn't want to be with me after I had given so much of myself to him. Now that you know all that heres where my problems begin: When we broke up we avoided each other but since we have the same circle of friends we have to learn to tolerate each other. So a bunch of us were hangin out doin what teenagers do and all of a sudden he says to one of my buddies, though everyone is listening "you know what we should do? We should make a survey and go down to so & so and see how many girls have oversized clit". At this point 2 of my girlfriends are talking about how disgusting that is (one of them being my best friend...I am definitely fuming ) and the guys are talkin about how "they're not into that sh*t". And me? I just stood there silently not saying a word. I cant believe he made my friends unknowingly a part of this. What I want to understand is why he would say such a thing. Is he trying to hurt me? If he is why? Hes the one that broke up with me! Maybe hes not trying to hurt me because if that was his goal he could have flat out told everyone that I had what he called "OVERSIZED CLIT". Maybe hes just trying to get my attention, even if it is negative attention, since me and him are the only ones who knows what hes really talking about. And if not that was he just trying to be funny? Am I really a joke to him? Does my body disgust him so? Why would he blurt out such a thing when Ive been trying so hard to be nice to him when we do cross paths. That night I wanted to cuss him out so bad, you don't understand how hard it was to hold back. At this stage in my life I'm trying to better myself and transition from being a girl to a woman. Ive been walking away from many fights and definitely trying to accept everyone around me and just be an overall nice, STRONG person. Sometimes I think me not saying anything that night was definitely the right choice to show him that 1. hes not going to get to me that easily 2. I think my body is beautiful 3. I'm better than that. Though other times I think I should talk to him, try to understand why he would have said something like that... but that idea is kind of risky if u know his personality. I'm still trying to accept my body for the way it is but people and situations like this make it so hard. I was so down and self-conscious...and MAD that I could let this bastard bring me down and make me feel self-conscious.
Im not too sure what type of response I'm looking for but thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and relate.
Im not too sure what type of response I'm looking for but thanks to anyone who takes the time to read and relate.
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At the time this boy took your virginity, you thought you were in love. That's usually how it all starts. Surprisingly enough, many young couples who have sex with each other for the first time, end up getting married, i was one of them.
But then there are other times when all a guy really wants is to be the first one to get into your knickers. It may last a little longer, but then he becomes much to busy for you.
You did nothing wrong. You felt that you were in love, and you thought that he loved you back. He probably did (at that time) You should never take a good friend to bed. The friendship is over and you start to see a side of him that you never knew existed.
When he made the crack about the over sized clit, you know that was directed to you. You be the bigger of the two, and you did the right thing by ignoring him. He is a boy and you know sometimes boys act like big spoiled babies and they love to be showered with attention from their friends. He got the attention that he wanted, but not from you. Do exactly what you have been doing. Keep your head up and let yourself become a respected young lady. You don't need to sleep with every guy that tells you that they love you. Build your esteem and confidence and let them know that they are not good enough for you.
One day you will find that absolute perfect guy, you will know it when it happens. A guy who will accept you with your flaws and turn them into something beautiful. Tho large inner labia is no big deal, many find this sexy. And so what any way. So you lost your virginity. It wasn't the right guy. Move on. Don't pay a bit of attention to him, this will grab him faster than if you commented back.
But then there are other times when all a guy really wants is to be the first one to get into your knickers. It may last a little longer, but then he becomes much to busy for you.
You did nothing wrong. You felt that you were in love, and you thought that he loved you back. He probably did (at that time) You should never take a good friend to bed. The friendship is over and you start to see a side of him that you never knew existed.
When he made the crack about the over sized clit, you know that was directed to you. You be the bigger of the two, and you did the right thing by ignoring him. He is a boy and you know sometimes boys act like big spoiled babies and they love to be showered with attention from their friends. He got the attention that he wanted, but not from you. Do exactly what you have been doing. Keep your head up and let yourself become a respected young lady. You don't need to sleep with every guy that tells you that they love you. Build your esteem and confidence and let them know that they are not good enough for you.
One day you will find that absolute perfect guy, you will know it when it happens. A guy who will accept you with your flaws and turn them into something beautiful. Tho large inner labia is no big deal, many find this sexy. And so what any way. So you lost your virginity. It wasn't the right guy. Move on. Don't pay a bit of attention to him, this will grab him faster than if you commented back.
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It sounds like to me that you already know how to handle this... you need to love your body no matter what, because you can't change it. If you are trying to grow up and act like a woman then you know better than to let some boy's comment bring you down. You are always going to cross paths with stupid immature people, but if you are strong and comfortable with yourself then nothing else matters. Plus many women have "oversized clits" you are not some weird freak or something, sounds to me that the boy you were with is just an unexperienced kid when it comes to women and thier bodies.
Hope this helps some.
Hope this helps some.
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yes she handled this perfectly. That guy is just a jerk. She can do much better I'm sure. And an oversized clit can be a turn on for guys. Do not body shame yourself. Maybe do some nudist activities and learn to love every little bit of your body.
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