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I have a bit of a weird question here, but knowing you guys, nothing is too weird for you and I am sure you can help. I have this lump on my chest, around the place where a woman would have breasts, and it is all red and painful. It has been there for a few weeks now, and it seems to be getting worse. What is this, and what can I do about it?

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I suspect that you have an inflamed hair follicle. This is what happened when your chest hair grows inwards and gets trapped under the skin. I get them sometimes, and when I do, I pull the hair out with a pair of tweezers. Sometimes you need to open up the skin with the tweezers, or a knife, before you are able to get the hair out. Hope that helps!
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