My clitoris constantly throbbing sometimes almost feels itchy

Hello. Let me tell you my story. When I was 17 in college I started getting a weird stabbing pain in my groin and side. I thought I had apendacitus at first. Following that I was in bed one night an my clit started throbbing like I was turned on, but I wasn't. I'm quite prudish not into sex massively and never masterbate. However I felt I had to so I did but the feeling in my clit didn't go away. Like a constantly throbbing sometimes almost feels itchy. I did the wrong thing and googled it and it came up with PGAS (persistent genital arousal) and yep I was terrified kept crying and the symptoms got worse. After about a week they went and I forgot about it but it came back again a few weeks later so I spent days in bed depressed. It's not painful but it's distracting and uncomfortable and makes you feel ashamed. I suffered with utis so I went to drs and tried to explain it they took a sample and said I had an infection however I had no pain like usual when I urinate. I took the medicine but I got no better I think it was me though adding to it. The stress and panic thinking of what I read online.. It went on though on and off for over a year taking me into university. I actually started getting severely depressed and once took an overdose. I just couldn't handle how it made me feel. And I dropped out of UNI. Meanwhile I saw a specialist about my utis and was put on ammatryptaline just a low dose. Then a miracle happened it went.. For 5 whole years with only 2 or 3 short spells which I worked out were linked to ovulation period. But.. I don't know if it was the ammatryptaline because I went through a break up from a 7 year relationship and I was so unhappy and heartbroken I lost loads of weight and it was all I was thinking about so it took my mind off the weird sensation then I kinda just forgot bout it I've been traveling alone and everything in past few years. My life was back . But now.. The feeling is back. The crazy thing is though I had the groin pain again!! And it was around ovulation time.. Now I am depressed again. It ruined Xmas. However thinking back now I can't excuse how there were times I didnt feel it then I'd be going on holiday with friends and worry I'd feel it so then it came back?or on Christmas Day or during happy times.. It's almost like I'm creating it.. But I know I'm not because I hadn't thought about it in years this time. I think it's a hormonal problem an once it arrives u obsess an stress I also suffer from anxiety. I take the contraceptive pill now to try calm my hormones. I find when im desperate for a wee the feeling goes then soon as I wee it's back I've also got tingling down my right leg now and in my foot. I feel suacidle again when at work I have to go off to toilet and I just cry my eyes out, I was in a happy relationship but now all I do is cry and not want him near me and I feel he will end it with me. I'm too embarrased to tell anyone but I am scared what this has done to my mental state. I've started drinking everyday on my lunch an after work as the feeling subsides I've also started taking drugs. Which I would of never considered before. I don't want to die but I feel I have no choice. I'm considering going doctors for depression, I don't know if antidepressants will help? I tried asking dr bout this feeling but they ignored me an kept saying was prob a uti although tests always came back saying otherwise. I'm so close to ending it all. Does anyone have any advice?