ok so i am currently sexually involved with this girl that i had previously dated, but no longer am, for two years. when we first started dated everything was perfect including the sex; the only thing that concerned me, at first, was that she couldn't cum without playing with herself too. I got over this very quickly and sex was great. Our relationship started to go down hill (there was, and maybe still is a lot of resentment and anger) and that is when it started, my penis would get soft in the middle of sex. I am not worried about my size and if i ill last long enough but one thing that i constantly think about with her is making her cum, but sometimes i get discouraged because it takes long and that's when it happens. I can get back up but it happens again and then again and then again until eventually i get frustrated and give up lol. I don't have this problem with other girls unless i am very drunk or just not attracted to the girl. I am twenty two years old and in the best shape i have ever been in. I have a feeling that it is mental because like i said i haven't had this problem with other girls unless im not feeling it. But it has been happening lately a lot and i think it might have to do with the fact that chemistry between us is withering away. i guess im coming here because i want to know what other people think...is it me? is it the relationship we had (and no longer do) or what???? also i must say that i have never been the guy to go out and hook up with a bunch of girls because i am really particular about who i sleep with, but it is starting to worry me and i don't want it to happen with another girl. Any suggestions???? this would really help???
Also a little health history: i am a social smoker, and i dabble with percocet and marijuana occasionally could that have something to do with it...as this is what she says...she also hates smoking lol
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I will say stress. Or any other emotion you're feeling other than pleasure. I'm a female but i can't get off unless my mind is cleared. I do give up sometimes as well after being so damn frustrated by tryin and tryin and it just won't happen. So if its only happening with that one girl you can blame your mind. And if it happens when you get high then I'd blame it on that but if not then its your insecurity with her and you making sure she likes what you're doing. Which isn't wrong at all but her not gettin off will control your mind into thinking its you which ends with you going limp. So if you can clear your head you should be fine. Also, if you have sex for a long time sometimes the pleasure just goes out the window and it starts to feel like work instead if fun.
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Agreed. It's probably in your head. Your stressing about this happening which only makes it happen more often. Maybe you guys are getting too routine. Maybe play with different positions. Maybe set the mood up more. Talk to her about it. Let her know you are still interested.. but your so worried about getting her off that its making you insecure which in turn makes you soft. We are incredibly understanding. maybe ask her what she needs from you to get off. Spend some time in bed just playing and exploring what you need from each other. We should't be shy with our partners. Sometimes you gotta be blunt. Let her know what's going on. Play with her before having sex and play with her clitoris while having sex. Touch her all over. kiss her neck. Ask how she likes what your doing. Talk dirty to her. Think of how good it feels and stop stressing about it. Have her get you off one time with a blowjob or something so she can see that your still interested. Have fun! if you go soft.. offer to get of off in another way. Sometimes if my husband does that he gets turned on again watching me get off and then he's good to go again.
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